Monday, February 21, 2005

2nd restaurant review

Golden Chopsticks is a Chinese restaurant located in the heart of Wheeling Island. The building is spectacular. Kind of ironic because the rest of Wheeling Island is an absolute dump. The Island has about 400 houses. 11 of them belong to actual homeoweners. 40 of them are condemned and the rest are rented out by some old guy who lives in Steubenville. I used to live on the Island - smack dead center on Virginia Street in roach infested Gruber Apartments. I lived there in 1991. Mine was a ground floor apartment. A woman lived above me with some really heavy makeup - I used to call her the "hepatitis hooker". Actually, she wasn't that bad but her 12 yr. old daughter Tina was obnoxious. She would sit on the steps directly outside my window. When a car pulled up to the stop sign she would stare at them and yell, "What the fuck you lookin' at bitch. You god damn cunt." Stuff like that - she was merciless and I'm talking about screaming profanity at little old ladies whose only crime was stopping at the sign. I would open the window when I had visitors. We used to call it the floor show - like clockwork from 3:00-4:00pm right after her school let out.
Anyway, I digress.
Chopsticks, aka Choppy Chop, is decent. Very reasonably priced and good quality food considering the fact that Wheeling doesn't really have much of an Asian population. Come to think of it, most Asians don't really eat the American version of Chinese food. These people probably have no idea who the fuck General Tso is. By the way, that General Tso's Chicken is the absolute worst thing you can eat in a Chinese restaurant (from a health perspective).
Anyway, I highly recommend going there. There is a discernable difference between the egg rolls you get at lunch and those at dinner. The lunch ones are about 1/4 the size of Pee Wee Herman's cock; whereas, the dinner egg rolls are decent. I personally recommend the Kung Pao Shrimp. I spoke with this guy Jimmy over the weekend and he would always recommend the Hong Kong Steak Hew thing. It's not bad either.
I did get yelled at once by the owner's father. I accidentally spilled my drink at the bar and he yelled, "What's wrong with you". Other than that, the waiters/waitresses are very friendly. This place is highly recommended. I'd give it 8.8 on a scale of 1-10. Trust me, that's high praise.

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