Wednesday, October 22, 2008


Alright, I'm heading into enemy territory again. John McCain is having a "victory rally" at the Sewell Center at Robert Morris College in Sewickely. This shit goes down Tuesday night (3:30pm>). He'll probably come on around 6pm. Anyway, I'm heaidng up with the Dinosaur sign. Since Pittsburgh has previously exhibited a lot of hostility towards Palin, it's easy to predict more tension, especially on a campus, even though Robert Morris is kind of on the expensive side. I figure there'll be an Obama presence (maybe around 50-60 people) and a retaliatory McCain presence. They'll probably have McCain/Palin signs so I'll inauspiciously try to blend in with them. I'm currently under consultation with Amanda to learn how to upload photos. This will enhance the blog experience (if you happen to read this bullshit).
Anyhoo, I figure I can make the news since the sign is so idiotic. Here are the anticipated questions and my responses...

Question: Why are you here? Why did you bring this sign?
Answer: I was gonna bring my McCain/Palin sign but I wanted to say something that meant something. Yeah... and ya know... and since Sarah Palin is a creationist. I wanted people to know that that's important and she's on our side.

Anticipated follow-up question: But what does any of that have to do with dinosaurs? What does this sign mean?
Answer: Well it's important to have people in the White House who read their bible and Obama doesn't do any of that.

Continued potential follow-up: Do you know that you misspelled "Dinosaurs?"
Answer: Oh yeah... somebody told me that. Ya know, this isn't some kind of third grade spelling bee. This is for the president of the United States and we've got to make sure that people make the right choice. And I'm just afraid of what Obama would do if he gets it.

One more possible follow up: So why do you fear Obama? Why are you scared if he becomes our next president?
Answer: Look, I'm not saying Obama is a terrorist, because he's not. Everyone knows that. But hey, he hangs out with terrorists and you just can't have that in the White House.

So hopefully, I can get my message out. I'm going with the standard politcal garb. Black low-end dress shoes, khakis and a knock-off polo shirt. No ballcap on Tuesday night, bitches. There should be a major news presence. Now I'll bring the extra Sarah Palin signs and try to disguise the sign for inside, but I'd be amazed if that panned out. Of course, if I made it in with the sign, I'd go all out. "Errr uhhhh excuse me sir, ooh, uh just passing through, I'm sorry, didn't mean to step on your toes, uhhh, ooooh just sliding through, hot soup." Dream the impossible - all of a sudden, McCain is stammering about his health care tax credit and Ka-POW


And fuck everyone, I'd hold my ground. I'd be yelling, "Don't tase me bro!"

For purposes of any potential interview, my name will be Donnie Cork and I'm from Canonsburg, PA.

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