Many have asked, "Saf, where are the pictures? Where is the music? Where is the glitter and emoticonal excitement?" How come you never talk about personal stuff or give us a glimpse into your sordid past? Why the fuck do you only write about shit that nobody gives a fuck? I'll admit, these are some valid questions. This seems like a particularly good time to address them since the Browns are playing the Bills on MNF. Nobody cares about that either. Actually, in that regard, I think I'm onto something. It's pretty obvious that the Browns are out of the playoffs this year and Romeo Crennel is on his way out. The question of course - who will replace him. The answer has never been so obvious. Bill Cowher will coach the Cleveland Browns next year. Yes, you heard it here. Cowher will be back. His stock will never be any higher. I think they'll also offer him a record contract. Not only would it be great for the NFL, it would reintroduce old rivalries with Pittsburgh and Baltimore. Plus, he used to play for Clevelend (special teams for a year I think). Plus, I think he'd just embrace it - he has a flair for the drama (with the cheating on his wife with his secretary bit) and loves the high profile. The timing has never been better. The NFL has this strange "what comes around goes around" aura. Just something to think about. It certainly would adhere to the sonofsaf "laws of universal balance" theory.
Meanwhile, back to the personal stuff.
I've been contemplating a major refrigerator overhaul. What's the deal? Am I going to get the icemaker fixed - No. Am I planing an upgrade - No. Maybe it's the outside - all those pictures of celebrity heads and the magnetic dress-up interactive status - No. Here's what I have planned. I'm thinking about starting a row of Coors Light alongside the Miller Lite. No one has preached the merits of Miller Lite the way I have, up until now. I've had about 3 Coors Lights in the past 2 weeks. They're really not that bad. Plus, I like the excitement of the silvery can. And they're also kind of narrow which bodes well for a decently stocked frig. They currently have the best beer commercials as well - where they misuse past NFL coach press conference footage.
What's up with the corks? When will it end? The answer - IT NEVER ENDS. As long as I can draw breath or pick up a glue gun. Some would say, they're TAKING OVER. And now, with the revelation of differential low and high lighting settings on the Cross of Purity - let us just say it has "merely begun." If you have wine corks, I want them. If you don't drink wine, please start.