Monday, November 03, 2008


One last political thought - this one regarding the inevitable demise of Joe the Plumber. This moron has had more than his 15 minutes of fame and he has gotta go. Fortunately, the press will have no use for him after McCain loses. By the way, I came up with a great idea for McCain in the closing moments of the campaign. Tonight, both him and Obama are going to make live comments during halftime of the Steelers/Redskins game. Chris Berman will be doing the interviewing. I'd encourage McCain to say something like this...
"Chris, normally politicians don't take sides in the NFL, but I'm pulling for the Steelers tonight because we need them to "clean up" the Washington DC Redskins." Then he could whip out a Terrible Towel that reads MCain/Palin or something to that affect. I think this would be a great gimmick. It would play huge among low-effort thinking undecided white men & women in Pennsylvania (which he needs). Not like McCain is going to carry the 80% black vote in the DC area anyway. It would be one last ditch affort and it's free and I think it would play incredibly well. Never underestimate the potency and resolve of the Steeler Nation.
Alright, back to Joe... Joe the Plumber is one of the biggest political hoaxes I've ever seen. Just who is this alleged man of the people? He appeared as if from nowhere (we used to call this "emerging from carpet"). PLEASE! This guy was a pure concoction of the Republican National Committee. An act of total desperation - They realized they needed to put a human face on all the "poor wealthy" people who are going to see their tax rate return to the levels of the Clinton administration. Oh my god, a substantial rise of 3% on the highest income bracket. How are these people going to maintain their quality of life and standard of living?
Joe is a fascinating individual. I've never met a plumber who makes 250K/year, has his own plumber publicist and is on the verge of releasing a country music cd. Just what the country needed, in an economic downturn and while the military is stretched to the breaking point. We need Joe. This would help every Tina the bartender, Chloe the waitress and Bob the garbage man more easily identify with the Republican party. If you take away the right-wing social issues, I'd say the current version of the Republican party truly and accurately represents a whopping 2% of the population.
Even more humorous, in the waning days of the campaign, McCain has been looking for "spontaneous" signs at his victory rallies. He keeps running into this one guy "Doug the Undertaker" over and over again. Grandpa loves invoking the spontaneity of the moment at every rally. "Look, there's Doug the Undertaker! I think the Democrats are going to need your services after this election is over!" Great line. Amazing how Doug shows up at every campaign stop.
One last message for Joe - The only way I can tolerate you is knowing that on Wednedsay, November 3, the media will no longer have any use for you whatsoever. They'll chew you up and spit you out. You'll be less famous than that old Wendy's "where's the beef?" lady but slightly more famous the Dick Cheney's hunting buddy who got shot in the face. I think I can live with that.

1 comment:

The Dub said...

It would have been even better if they would have brought out "The Undertaker". The extremely popular WWF/E wrestler. That would have won them all of the votes that they are after.