Monday, January 19, 2009

Met Grill... it never ends

I occasionally write about my odd experiences at the Metropolitan Grill in downtown Wheeling restaurant. The food is usually fantastic. The atmosphere is pleasant although the place sometimes smells like a sewer (my friend Barb calls it sewery). The service covers the entire spectrum from exceptional to downright bizarre. By bizarre, I mean stuff like the waiter might ask you to buy him scratch off lottery tickets in lieu of a gratuity. The waitress might grab your napkin and blow her nose. The owner might be slamming tequila shots and suddenly run for the door to go puke outside. Yeah... stuff like that.
Well, today I celebrated the Steelers victory with two of my favorite lunchables, Heather and Sarah. I got this crabcake salad which was out of this world. Heather got some watery lobster bisque and a steak sandwich which she said was poor. Sarah got a sandwich and side salad and remained relatively guarded about the quality.
Our waitress didn't smile but was cordial and efficient.
So why am I writing about this? Nothing out of the ordinary here. Well, something did strike me as peculiar. Every day they have a half-sheet of paper which lists the specials. Each special has a brief description. I WISH I HAD A SCANNER so you could see the number of misspellings as well as the inconsistent and improper use of punctuation. It's so bad that I have decided to recreate it in its EXACT entirety. So, without further adieu...

METROPOLITAN CITI GRILL LUNCH FEATURES
01/19/08
DINE IN OR TAKE OUT 232-0762

HOT SANDWICH
BAKED BALSAMIC GRILLED STEAK - SAUTEED SPINACH, CARMELIZED SWEET ONION,AND
MOZZERELLA ON ITALIAN ROLL W/ SALAD OR FRIES
$7.95

SALAD
ALMOND CRUSTED SALMON - ORANGE MAMALADE GLAZE,RED ONION,RED
PEPPERS,ORANGES AND POMMEGRANATE VINAIGRETTE
$8.95

PLATE
PAN SEARED DIVER SEA SCALLOPS - SAUTEED WITH SPINACH,CALAMATA
OLIVES,ARTICHOKES,AND A LIGHT PESTO CREAM SAUCE,OVER LINGUINI $9.50

HOT SOUPS
LOBSTER BISQUE/FRENCH ONION/
GARDEN CHICKEN NOODLE

SWEETOOTH
VANILLA BEAN CHEESE CAKE/TIRIMISU/CHOCOLATE LAVA TORTE
CHOCOLATE ALMOND GANOSH TORTE/
KENTUCKEY PECAN BOURBAN TORTE/VANILLA ICE CREAM


Oh, where to begin. Let me first say that I didn't take honorable mention at the third grade grammar rodeo, but what the fuck is going on? The use of commas is completely mesmerizing. Sometimes there's a space, sometimes there isn't. My favorite is the use of the comma which precedes "OVER LINGUINI" as if to use this cataclysmic pause to enhance the level of excitement. I just find the total lack of "punctuation consistency" slightly amusing.
Onto the spelling issues. In an abbreviated menu, they somehow managed to misspell 7 words. Can you find them? Scroll all the way down if you want to cut to the chase. These are not simple typos. This guy must have been using his TRS-80 or some kind of Commodore Vic 20 knock off because there is no evidence of spell check.
The fact that he capitalized everything is a bit weak, but maybe he just likes the caps lock button on his computer. I'm a bit shocked the phone number wasn't listed as @#@-)&^@. That's 232-0762 in caps lock language.
If you wish to read about my other strange Met Grill experiences just do a search on my blog for Metropolitan Grill, Met Grill and/or words like bewildered and confusing. I'm sure the previous posts will surface.
As I said, feel free to scroll to the bottom...


















MAMALADE - Marmalade (alright, omitting the "r" was probably an accident)
POMMEGRANATE - pomegranate (I'll give him a pass on this one)
SWEETOOTH - Sweettooth (unless he was trying to be intentionally cutesy)
TIRIMISU - tiramisu (how can a pastry chef not know how to spell this?)
GANOSH - ganache (kind of like soup... spelled "supe")
KENTUCKEY - Kentucky (I wonder if this dumbass has ever been to Road Island)
BOURBAN - bourbon (he should drink less of it)

I often use a little "grammarical license" - kind of like my own version of poetic license, but this was so atrocious I felt it warranted a blog. But like I said, the food is usually bad ass. Easily the best salads in a 45 mile radius of Wheeling.

3 comments:

sonofsaf said...

The spacing in my recreation of the menu is a bit fucked up due to template restrictions. But everything else is right on.

Sandra said...

I had a really good salad the last time I was there, and I enjoy the wine selection. If you organized a happy hour there, I would come.

Anonymous said...

That place is garbage.