If the Steelers don't beat the Cardinals in the Superbowl, I'll be sickened as will many of us. Granted, it would have been far worse losing to the Ravens in the AFC Championship but that's an argument for a different place. Anyway, assuming we're victorious (I think we'll win 34-17), I have devised a fantastic idea for a rogue t-shirt. I'm throwing it out there, in the hope that someone will take the initiative. Perhaps, I should be the one to do it. But truth be told, I think my t-shirt swinging days are over. Perhaps a few more Top 10's. Anyway here is the idea....
ON THE FRONT
Basically, in the upper left front pocket area it reads...
Finally, a ring for the COCK
ON THE BACK
There's a full picture of a white rooster/bird/cock thing, with some black & gold feathering. You could use the circular 3-star STEELERS logo as the eye. Also, you might consider dressing him up in one of those bird/hen Steelers outfits that you see on those mother hen statues outside every modular home in Trailerdelphia
I'm assuming that a cock is a rooster, right? Hens and miscellaneous bird-chickens aren't my specialty. Even if you think the idea is obnoxious, you've got to appreciate the play on the word "cockring" and the fact that we already have a ring for the thumb. Isn't a cock the most plausible and realistic placement for the new ring? On the front, you might just go with "STEELERS WIN A COCKRING." I also like the idea of using BIG BEN in a light-hearted penile reference as well.
Anyway, I'm just throwing the basic premise out there. I'd love to see some guy swinging these shirts at the victory parade next week. I'm sure these renegade salesmen would appreciate me telling them, "Hey, this was my idea." You'd make a killing and they wouldn't grow stale or outdated for at least an entire year. Plenty of time to sell all summer.
Incidentally, I wouldn't mind going up to the parade. I missed the 2005/06 one. If anybody wants to go, let me know. If we lose, I'll just watch the Scottsdale trophy wife parade on the Rosie O'Donnell Network while simultaneously chewing on tin foil and self-sodomizing myself with a low-end mop. Either way, don't sweat it.
Just one last comment. As a veteran t-shirt retailer, I'm often disgusted buy the total lack of creativity in the rogue t-shirt market. And yes, I fully understand the target market (women ages 18-25, men ages 18-40, or basically anyone with a $10 bill). And I know it's a lot easier to just sell a mass market, generic design. But c'mon, we've got an Obama administration now. Maybe it's time for people to show some ingenuity and think outside the box. Fuck George W. Bush.