Monday, March 23, 2009

Greco's

A good friend of mine once said, and I quote, "Greco's is the best Italian food from here to Pittsburgh." I responded with a vitriolic tirade marked with unabashed caustic venom. What the Fuck? Greco's? Are you fucking kidding me? Apparently he was not - his name is Doug. Truth be told, he's one of my favorite human beings on the planet. High praise indeed.
Well, I ate there today and it was pretty much as expected. Everyone at my table opted for the buffet, so I acquiesced and joined "the party."
The salad bar didn't have much in the way of credible toppings, unless you consider tapioca pudding an adequate garnish. It could be more of a space issue. There was an ample choice of 6 dressings, but you had to guess what they were. Perhaps a little sign that says "light ranch" might confuse the delicate palate of the Grecovites. I would suggest signs that read "white" for ranch and "yellow" for creamy Italian. This way a diner could walk back to the table and proudly extol, "Look ma, I put the yummy white on it! I'm gonna put yella on the next one, gramps!"
The pizza buffet was exceptionally disgusting. Simply stated, the pizza is not cooked sufficiently. What you're left with is a doughy spectacle of grief and despair. I just don't know. The mushrooms are straight out of a can - I think I can see the Pennsylvania Dutch label from orbit. They also offer these miniaturized pepperoni rolls. I don't think adjectives like gross or abysmal are applicable here. You must invoke horrific descriptions. For example, these pepperoni rolls taste like "the aftermath of tsunami" or "the unforgiving tribal hatred of the Hutus and Tutsis."
Come to think of it, I've had other bad experiences in that plaza. The True Value (or as I like to call it, False Value) people took 6 weeks to sharpen the blades on my lawn mower and then, when I went to pay the $5.00, they ridiculed me for being anti-Bush. There also was a stolen milk crate debacle back in the early 1990's, but I brought that one upon myself. There is one shining beacon of light... the dumpster behind Convenient. Yep, that is all.

4 comments:

Lemmy Caution said...

Sounds horrible. I'll be sure to avoid it!

amandape said...

IT really isn't that bad!
Never use the other dressings. their hosue dressing is by far the freshest and the best choice. Always fresh brewed ice tea & their pizza rolls are pretty darn good. THe best choice is to order of fthe menu and not the buffet.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps I was a tiny bit harsh. Let me tone it down with a poem.

Looking for a place to munch?
going to Greco's for lunch?

You made a bad decision
but there's no need for derision

Just let me have the final say
I beg you. Avoid the buffet

Anonymous said...

I like their pizza and pepperoni rolls but not off the buffet.