poem

My father recently assembled a vast collection of some of his best poetry. He mailed it out to friends and family members. It's 150 or so of his best works - very impressive to say the least. I felt it was necessary to offer a response so I mailed him a poem of my own.
This poem is mostly inside family humor so it might not make much sense to a casual observer of my blog. Nonetheless...


HEY, THIS COULD BE TERSE

I recently received, a voluminous collection
truly astonished, I read through each selection

An assortment of work, so colorful and fantastic
must be acknowledged, with something equally bombastic

And while I'm sure, I'll never achieve such notoriety and fame
I'll give it a try, during a Steelers/Ravens football game

Odd that I'd quote the Ravens or the works of Edgar Allen Poe
as one of your weaker entries, was about a plumber named Joe

Kidding aside, your skills are truly uncanny
incredibly witty, was the poem about Ranney

Last name Ranney, first name Shane
your sarcasm was evident, customarily difficult to feign

Another observation, take it for what it's worth
is regarding the Wall Street Weeklings, they will NOT inherit the earth

Perhaps the round table of investors, was admittedly meek
you needed a financial adviser, whose input wasn't nearly as weak

As I delved deeper, I became really immersed
good thing I'm not spiritual, or I'd truly feel cursed

How about that woman, who just assaulted the pope
could have been high, possibly drugged out or on dope

Maybe she concluded, that after all these years she'd been tricked
by organized religion, pedophile priests and/or Pope Benedict

Cuz after all, one egg is sufficient, in a salad named Caesar
that's a lot of cholesterol, for a non-retired geezer

Do you hear what I'm sayin? Do you know what I mean?
she was probably familiar, with the works of Doc Saferstein

And though her actions were callous
I cannot view her with malice

Hell, I'd take a shot too
one swift push, from this atheist Jew

But to assault that old churchie? I'd prefer just to mock
let us freely admit, I'm just a knock off the old block

The son of a poetic dermatologist
probably wiser, than a cilantro herbalogist

I think at this time, let's do an "about face"
Not the war or Korea, just simply a change of pace

One of my favorite poems was about Thelma, not Louise
although that cat's less exciting, it brought me to my knees

It must have been the scheme and rhyming perchance
you stole the whole damn thing, from the Pirates of Penzance

You're probably thinking, that sounds harsh and a bit crass
but I'd be willing to bet, G & S would've given you a pass

I must admit there was a time, when I thought your brain had turned to mush
but I was quickly set straight, after reading your observations on Bush

But I've come to the conclusion, that my poem was better
so I gave you an additional copy, it's enclosed in this letter

You know my routine, it's all just mere fibbing
cuz from time to time, we all need a light ribbing

Your being my father, comes with a great side feature
that every once in a while, "student become teacher" *

My only wish, is that I could be nearly as prolific
with an arsenal of poems, that range from poignant to horrific

Love, Eric

* taken from the absolutely atrocious movie Karate Kid Part II.

PS
If anything written, has given you even the slightest offense
Well tough shit! It's called Saferstein, poetic license