If the Westboro Baptist Church imbeciles showed up near my house, I would hose them down. Or here's an alternative - Tell them you appreciate their message and would like to hold up one of their signs. Then set it on fire. If I owned a motorcycle, I would park right next to them and rev it for the duration. The continual noise and exhaust would be immeasurably disconcerting. And I'd construct a sign that says "Loud Pipes Save Lives" - that's my message. How about this - bring an old school boom box and blare an audio ripped cd of an extremely hardcore pornographic dvd. Or how about this - walk by them and blast an air horn in the ear of the oldest protester. "God Loves Air Horns."
Here's some things I would NOT do. Have a bake sale. Join hands and sing John Lennon's "Give Peace a Chance." Pray for their souls. Pray for an end to hatred. Pray in general. Actively encourage avoidance and indifference. Consult a Catholic pedophile priest for advice on how best to cope with all the impending negativity. Most important - no hippie drum circles. Cartman would agree with me on this. 95% of Wheeling residents would not agree with me on this. My ultimate dilemma - I'm on the fringe of the 5%. But at least I am fully aware of this.