mama grizzlies?

I have mixed reviews about the new Sarah Palin ad...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsUVL6ciK-c&feature=player_embedded#!

Let's first state the obvious. It's entirely a "feel-good" ad. No time for policy positions of any kind, foreign or domestic. We're just going to move forward! Look out Washington DC and all you political hacks. Palin's comin' round the mountain (Mt. Whitney is my best guess). Oh yeah, and I'm going to protect your children with the tenacity of a Mama Grizzly! Women everywhere are standing up and I represent all the women out there. Moms just kinda know when something ain't right. And something's not right in Congress. And never forget... God bless America, wave as many flags as is humanly possible and always mention how much you support the troops. Yeah... I get it.

I will admit one thing though. The ad is very slick and has a strong emotional appeal. For me to admit that her campaign ad has an inspirational tone is a major concession. For the love of God, if I found it even remotely inspiring, can you imagine what a mainstream mother from Indiana must be feeling. That woman in Bloomington just started quilting the largest American flag, hoping for a Guinness Book of World Record. Praise Sarah! She's without a doubt, the greatest freedom loving hockey mom in the world. It's a good thing they developed a metric for defining "the most patriotic, mother of 5 who's always willing to recite the pledge of allegiance while simultaneously eating a hot dog at the minor league ball park" - I've always thought that category never received its just due. About time.

She's basically using the exact same formula as Obama - His ads were similar with the incessant "hope, change and shake up the status quo." But at least he could articulate the finer points and is a well-rounded political candidate, regardless if you agree with his agenda. Palin, on the other hand (and yes, I'm talking about the scribbled notes on her actual HAND), is entirely a memorization candidate. She needed to write down "lower taxes" and "freedom." Honestly, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? She doesn't have an authentic message or core system of beliefs. She just latches onto the conservative rhetoric of those far wiser and politically seasoned. Even better, she does it mostly with facebook commentary and twittered blips. God, do I abhor this woman.

Palin's strategy is to make her followers fall in love with her. Let's be honest - for a good chunk of the populace, that's all you need. Make people identify with you. I'm just like your neighbor... Suzie the homemaker, Joe the Plumber, Darrin the dogcatcher. If you love someone, they can do no wrong. You get my drift. I have a hunch that this "Mama Grizzly" bit will be used for the rest of the summer until her team comes up with a new catchy slogan. She's basically turning the political primary build-up into her version of American Idol. Not a bad plan. She already has the shrieking squeals of delight from her trained minions whenever her tour bus approaches. Well, to admit that this is HER strategy is a bit of a stretch. Her handlers have a better idea of what's going on. Personally, I think her goal is to amass as much support as is humanly possible and then back a more credible candidate. By now, she must be aware that she simply cannot become President. Then again, despite her resounding loss in '08, she still thinks "God is on her side." Usually when people think God is with them, they tend to be a bit blinded by personal ambition.

Sometimes I get so carried away with my contempt for Palin (my animosity extends to her entire family, even the infant with Downs syndrome), that I neglect my own prognostications for a Palin victory. All it would take is a split on the middle/left with a credible outsider - someone like a Tom Hanks or Oprah Winfrey. Possibly a billionaire populist who could laugh off the elitist/Hollywood tag. I call this Palin's overwhelming mandate (36% of the popular vote in a three way race). Look out Iran! Sarah don't wear no veil! Now is NOT the time to cover up! Sarah, if you read this (assuming that you do read actual columns or editorials - this is still a matter of public debate), you can have that slogan for your future meeting with Ahmedinijad when you lay down the law.

The problem is that the Republican party currently doesn't have many credible candidates for President. All of them, including Palin, can be carved apart on various issues when primary season comes back around. Romney belongs to that Mormon cult. Newt cheated on his wife. Jindal is an Indian. Guiliani is an egomaniac and way too provincial - how ironic since he's from NYC. He's the ultimate oxymoronic candidate. Robert Steele is gaffe prone and he's black (doesn't stand a chance anyway). Huckabee sounds too much like Hick and he's a closet tree hugger. There are a few candidates further down the trough, but they lack the national exposure. Maybe it's her intention to see it all the way through. Crazier things have happened. But the thought of "President Sarah Palin" is so inherently absurd, so disgustingly ludicrous, it boggles the imagination. And I have a pretty vivid imagination.

So my point of this post, other than the redundant Palin bashing. Why doesn't the Democratic National Committee use this "Mama Grizzly" nonsense in an attack ad? You could have a Grizzly bear standing on its hind legs with the superimposed/morphed face of Palin. She could either be growling or smiling. It doesn't really matter once you de-legitimize the minimal amount of credibility she has. The important thing is to have those talon-like claws outstretched over the head. South Park writers would have a field day with this. I remember when they turned Barbara Streisand into that giant monster. I think this would play well considering the popularity of political caricatures. Democrats need to take a more aggressive general attack strategy. I anticipate getting inundated with the infamous Obama/Hitler mustache pics. That never grows tired. Or how about the Obamacare where he dons the protective mask and surgical gloves. I actually think the latter one has a little pizazz. But c'mon, the Hitler innuendo? That shit is so stale.