Maury Povich "intern" program

To claim I have issues with the existence of Maury Povich would be a vast understatement.

http://www.mauryshow.com/intern.php

Incidentally, I love the diverse ethnic mix of interns who hover around Maury in the footage. Should they have used a Pakistani with a turban? Perhaps a Jew with a yarmulke would have been sufficient.

So what's with this insatiable quest for interns? Just how many staffers does Maury Pukich need for his idiot show? And what function could they possibly serve? Other than the brunette woman in her late 30's who brings the babies on stage to adequately celebrate positive paternity outcomes... Actually, I like this woman with the non-speaking role. I dream of the day when she walks out onstage with a giant jar of Hellman's mayonnaise. Maury pipes out, "Bring out the Hellman's!" And the crowd fires back in unison, "Bring out the best!"

But seriously, why the endless demand for so many interns? To get Maury's dry cleaning. Maybe give blow-jobs to security personnel? Fetch the lie-detector administrator a scone? Prep the crowd with weird sounding "booooo" noises?

But again, here's the million dollar question - Why would the producers waste precious advertising time with these never-ending appeals for college interns? Well, I have the real answer. The truth is - they're not really searching for interns. What they really want is a letter of "accreditation" from the college or university. Check this out - it's from Maury's website...


Students selected MUST be able to receive college credit for the internship. *Please note that the student will need to submit a letter from their college or university on official college letterhead to the internship supervisor at The Maury Show prior to the internship start date stating that the college or university is aware that the student is undertaking the internship and that the institution agrees to award academic credits upon successful completion of the internship.

So what's the problem here Saf? They want these kids to receive the allotted educational credit for participating in the valuable intern program. WRONG. If you believe this, you're a complete fucking idiot. My best guess is that they're abusing or possibly in cahoots with some back door government program sponsored by the Department of Education. If a producer from the show could prove that there is an overwhelming demand for interns and be able to substantiate this with a flood of paperwork from hundreds of different institutions of higher learning, I'm sure that some form of government funding comes rolling in. It must serve to "legitimize" their bullshit programming in some misguided layer of bureaucracy. Honestly, can anyone give me a better explanation why they'd run that same ad beckoning for interns everyday?

My other hunch is that it could be a simple way to funnel marketing information. If you're searching for the most gullible and naive segment of the population, I'd generally look to a Maury/Springer based audience. To be blunt, this really isn't programming for the most discerning viewer. That's why they have those incrediby lame polling questions? Maury says, "Call me and tell me what you think! You'll also hear incredible offers and special promotions! So call Maury, now!" This is nothing more than the acquisition of straight-up telemarketing info. It reminds me of the booths at county fairs that "give away" a trip to the Bahamas or a brand new car. Hey douchebag, just fill out the entry form. You could win the grand prize. Or well, at the very least, you'll get a call on Monday at 9:03am from some guy named Singh in Hyderabad, India.