Sunday, February 03, 2013

New York Islanders to win the 2013 Stanley Cup?

Saf, what the fuck?  Are you kidding me?  The New Jerk Highlanders?  You really think they could win the Stanley Cup in 2013?

Well perhaps.  But give me a chance to explain.

First and foremost.  The Islanders aren't playing in this colossal dump anymore.

That's a picture of the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum.  If ever a venue needed to be memorialized, this is it.  You gotta love the dented orange barrel out front.  I used to really enjoy knocking those things over on the way out of Starlake.

So yeah.  That's right.  They made the move from the central Long Island to some splashy new digs in Brooklyn.  The brand new Barclays Center is ranked as the most glitzy, decadent arena in the NHL (and possibly the United States).  Sorry Pittsburgh fans.  I realize that's not very consoling.

Check out this place.

I don't think it takes those Penn and Teller Super-Focus glasses.  If you can't see the transition and acknowledge that it's a new day for the Islanders, perhaps you'd be better off pledging your undying allegiance to the Wheeling Nailers.   And the inside of the Barclays Center has more luxury boxes than fracking wells in the state of West Virginia.  They serve sushi, lobster rolls, caviar, cognac... You name it, they got it.  Much better than the Wesbanco Arena menu featuring soft pretzel, hot dog and Bud Light.

And not only is it completely over-the-top, but it's the brain-child of megalomaniac, hip-hopper Jay-Z.  He's pretty much the owner/boss/manager.  If you're unaware, he's married to the superstar Beyonce.  I think she just had his baby.  So Jay-Z is also baby daddy.  Beyonce just finished up with the presidential inauguration (albeit lip-synched) and is half-timing the Superbowl tonight.

Now if you know me, you know one thing for shizzle.  I'm the last person who gets all gizz-jazzed up over the psycho-celebrity culture which is America.  I can't even tell the difference between a John Corbett and a Mr. Big (somewhat true).  I can't tell the difference between Liza Minnelli and licorice minestrone.  And just if you're wondering... the answer is yes.  Gigi and watched Sex in the City II last Sunday.  Honestly, it really wasn't that bad.

So back to the Islanders.  They were listed as second to last in the NHL Stanley Cup race.  Last place is the Columbutt Blue Jackets at 150-1.  The Isles were listed at 75-1 or 100-1.  If you're curious, the Penguins and other top teams are usually somewhere in the 8-1 or 12-1 range.

But hey, this is an abbreviated season.  So I think it lends itself to a young, upstart team getting hot early and going on a streak.  Plus, it's the NHL where just about every team makes the playoffs.  So once you're in, you got a shot.

Disclaimer:  I'm not really a big hockey fan.  I catch some of the regular season games... but I'm hardly an addict.  And I almost never analyze or read NHL news.  I have a hard time taking professional hockey that seriously.  Well, until the playoffs start.  How pathetic - I'm a playoff band-wagoner.  At least I'll admit it.  And for the record, I'm also not a wannabe who rushes to Dick's and blows $100 bucks on a knock-off Crosby jersey (lame).

Another thing, I was checking out the attendance figures.  When the Islanders were playing in the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, they had some of the worst attendance figures in the league.  But right now, they're even outselling the New York Rangers at the Garden.  Not by much, but isn't that special.

The Barclays Center is the biggest, new hot spot in New York City in all da five burrows.  I checked out some of the upcoming shows.  Multiple Gaga's, a couple Rihanna's and even the Beibs is coming to town.  And there's a ton of New Jersey Nets games too.  Lest ye forget.  They relocated as well.  East Rutherford can suck it.

My point is this.  With Jay-Z being a self-professed playa and all, I doubt he'd have much tolerance for a habitually losing franchise.  I think it's reasonable to assume that he wants to remake the Nets and even the Islanders in his glorified image.

I know it's early, but the Islanders are at the top of the standings.

Eastern Conference
Pittsburgh 8 5 3 0 10 4 24 19 1-2-0 4-1-0 5-3-0
NY Islanders 7 4 2 1 9 4 27 23 1-1-0 3-1-1 4-2-1
New Jersey 7 3 1 3 9 3 17 19 2-0-1 1-1-2 3-1-3
NY Rangers 8 4 4 0 8 4 19 22 3-2-0 1-2-0 4-4-0
Philadelphia 9 3 6 0 6 3 21 26 2-1-0 1-5-0 3-6-0

And I think everyone would agree that the Atlantic division is the toughest in the NHL.
So yeah, maybe the Islanders could be a decent long shot. 

And while I don't participate in illegal gambling anymore (with the exception of purchasing 2 $5.00 squares on G Max's crappy Superbowl board - he gave me great numbers).  Look at this shit.  I got 2,9 and 2,5.

 ... allow me to finish.  Yeah.  That's great.

Ravens 19
San Fransisco 22

Better yet... how about an all-field goal Super Bowl?

San Francisco 12
Ravens 15

Honestly, I think there's a better chance for an artificially generated stampede. 

One last thought... there's some guy from somewhere who submitted one of those homemade SuperBowl commercials.  It's for a Doritos contest.  This dude looks exactly like a younger version of Wheeling's own Jeff Radosevich.  Judge for yourself.

I stole this more current picture of him off facebook.  Not sure of the circumstance, but it's him with mayor Bloomberg. 

INSANE.  He currently loves in NYC, so this ties nicely together with the whole Islanders/Brooklyn crap.

Hope everyone enjoys the game tonight.  And I'm on record for this.  It is morally acceptable to root for the Baltimore Ravens.  

Let's say...

Ravens 31
49ers 27


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry I made you put Sex in the City II for background noise as we played another gripping game of SCRABBLE! That makes up for part of the A.G.S talk...just messin' with ya!
Good call on the Ravens.

sonofsaf said...

I should be the one congratulating you... for winning our NFL playoff bracket. Won it on the Superbowl point tie-breaker. Your over/under prediction was 66.

Final score:

Ravens 34
49ers 31

Strong win. Off by a mere point.

sonofsaf said...

I'm watching the Islanders right now. Obviously, they still play at Nassau Coliseum. I thought I knew what I was talking about. I do not. Please disregard this post.