Thursday, June 02, 2005


My mother and father recently went on a peach picking expedition. Since peaches qualify as food, it's an easy review. Just copy and paste....

Pass the Peaches, Please

Tomorrow Shnepf Farm’s Peach Festival will be done.
Lets go pick some peaches today, sounds like fun.

We had no idea when we started to go
It was almost halfway to New Mexico.

And who would have thought that on this Saturday
A traffic jam on the Superstition Freeway.

Well we finally arrived there just in time
To take our place in a slow moving line.

The cost of admission was just five bucks each
And that did not include even one damn free peach.

We climbed onto a wagon that was pulled by a tractor.
The wind and the dust was a most unpleasant factor.

We each grabbed a box and took off to the trees.
There were lots of ripe peaches that we both picked with ease.

We picked only the ripe ones and were less than amused
When we noticed how easily they would get bruised.

We filled those two boxes I’m sorry to say
And we now have no doubt we got carried away.

Next we went to the scales and were shocked when we found
How much they all weighed at a dollar a pound.

It seemed for those peaches we had spent too much dough,
But we planned to gift peaches to some people we know.

We had plans to use peaches in cobblers and pies,
Stewed peaches, peach jam and perhaps peach surprise.

Peach ice cream and smoothies we’d make if we could.
But the problem is that they were not very good.

Some did not have much flavor and their skins were too tough,
And most of those peaches were not sweet enough.

Yes, the peaches were lousy, I am sorry to say,
Not as good as the ones at Fry’s or Safeway.

And the sun was so hot that I took off my shirt
And my eye glasses fell silently to the dirt.

The admission, the trip and the glasses I lost
Made five dollars a peach the approximate cost.

So please call our psychiatrist any time when
We head out to Shnepf Farms to pick peaches again!


G Max said...

Best review yet.

sonofsaf said...

Thanks G Max - I'll extend your praise to my father. Not as controversial as some of my other posted crapulence. I might even set up a link to all my father's collected works - he probably has about 800 similar poems. Not sure if he has computerized them. Some of them are very comical, but it helps if your last name is Saferstein (or Cohen). My brother Bennett took his wife's last name.