Wednesday, August 03, 2005

changing it up

I have decided to cease and desist all upcoming restaurant reviews. Instead, I'm venturing into semi-unexplored new territory. CONCERT REVIEWS. Two major reasons for the shift in bloggism come to mind. First, after having made 35 restaurant reviews, I just thought it was time for a change. Secondly, let's face it, for the most part, G Max was the only one who ever responded to the venomous tirades.
I think I might be a little better suited to do concert analysis anyway. Some reasons:
1) My new found limo experiences offer a unique (and sober) perspective.
2) Many years in the scalping biz representing the experiences of the minority whitey. My dream is to scalp an appearance by that new German pope. Ahhh, the irony. If he comes to Heinz Field, I'm there.
3) Ability to predict the attendance of any show weeks in advance.
4) Years of dumpster parking offer strong insight into the mind of the average concert-goer.
5) An endless desire to people watch - I don't think that will ever get stale.
6) Fuck it. I've just seen a ton of shows. I'll even go see that Yanni shit or some country music show called the "Do you want fries with that Tour"?

Alright, I think I've made my point. Anyway onto the first review.

Last night I took an Island couple to the Duran Duran show in the black top. Picked them up at 4:30pm. Although corpulent and lethargic, they were "rarin' to go". Armed with giant bottles of water they tried to navigate the tiny entrance to the limo. They were eventually successful. I asked if they needed to make any stops on the way and they replied, "Nope, we're good to go" - I was like "Cool, let's do it." Off to Chevrolet Ampitheatre in Station Square. Near Dallas Pike they put the divider down and informed me that they had made a horrifying discovery. The guy yelled out, "Hey Eric, there's a half a joint back here." I was kind of surprised and told him they usually clean the limos pretty thoroughly. Anyway, he informed me that it was ok and they were alright. He then said, "I'm going to get rid of it because if we get pulled over, I don't wanna get busted." Before I could mumble a response, he rolled down his window and flicked it onto I-70 (near the Cabelas exit). I really didn't know what to make of it.
They were actually a very pleasant couple. The radio in the back was pretty quiet until they got a double shot of Ozzy on 107.5. Then they cranked it - Iron Man and then that crappy Mama I'm Coming Home song. We got to Station Square and they went to look for something to eat. They returned unfed but proudly sporting a new Beanie Baby of some kind. Then the action began to unfold. Jess and Heather along with another couple parked in a limo right next to us. For liablity reasons, I don't want to hastily mention everyone's name. They were having a good time. Drinking the best high end of all the low end beers - Miller Lite. I went off to do some scalping. Started slow with an aggressive spiky haired woman who didn't like the idea that I was selling her comp tickets. She got me down from $50 to $30 for a pair. Even threatened to get the cops involved. I told her that I appreciated her aggressive negotiation tactics but she was not amused. After I disposed of her, things really started to click. Few sales here, blah, a few more, rockin'.
Decided enough was enough and headed into the show. Duran Duran played a somewhat awkward setlist. 6 or 7 of the tunes I'd never even heard of, including the opener. I could have created a far better set list. Fortunately, the gay men everywhere could have cared less. They were all on fire last night. It was their time to shine and they would not be denied. Some estimated the gay male population at the show was a whopping 33%. Openly gay (those who know they are gay) was probably around 28%. Not that there's anything wrong with that...
Double D sounded great and the crowd was definitely into it. The ride home was relatively uneventful. Dropped off those two and went to the 19th Ho. Hooked up with Scotty and Preston and then hit Knotty Pines for last call. Some dude "Shite himself" at the Pines thus rounding out the highs and lows of an interesting evening. Anyway, here's the numbers on a scale of 1-100.

Performance of Duran Duran - 90
Quality of setlist - 52
Crowd entusiasm - 89
Parking lot scene/tailgating - 80
Quality of limo occupants - 75
Mother Shabooboo-like behavior - 88

other numbers:
Scalping - about $160
Tip - $20
Food - didn't eat anything, although I briefly considered buying a hot dog.

1 comment:

Jay said...

I didn't know there were that many restaurants in the area.