God only knows why I would write about this. I got hit with a severe case of food poisoning on Wednesday afternoon. I had forgotten what it felt like. Last time I came down with this shit, I was in Ecuador with my mother roughly ten years ago. I ate some kind of luke-cold fish appetizer while en route back to Quito. Needless to say, I was down for the count. I'll spare everyone the intimate details. Fortunately, it occurred at the end of the trip. Though it did make for miserable return to the states.
Well, a decade later, I got hit again. I was at my favorite watering hole Tuesday evening and ordered the chicken portabella to go. I absolutely devoured the whole thing when I got home. I was a bit intoxicated, but from what I can recall it tasted fine. Basically, it consisted of a side of broccoli, rice pilaf and chicken with a layer of provolone and portabella. I order this stuff (or a corned beef reuben) on a regular basis. In retrospect, it was probably a poor idea to order chicken so close to Thanksgiving. I doubt many people are ordering chicken after stuffing their faces with turkey for the past week. My bad. I did add some pine nuts to the rice, but I can't fathom that having any impact whatsoever. I would later see these same pine nuts as I projectile vomited on a few different occasions. I also ate a small amount of pasta salad Wednesday afternoon, but I don't think that had impact either. I refuse to discuss the other aspect of the food poisoning (has to be salmonella), but it required about 22 brief trips to the restroom. I think you get the point.
A few observations about my ordeal. First of all, Meowee was a pillar of strength. She followed me to the bathroom all night. I think she new something was terribly wrong and wanted to lend me her support. Another observation - food poisoning is probably one of the best excuses to give an employer when you're trying to get out of work. It's a temporary ailment which is difficult to verify and usually does not require a doctors visit. In this day and age with cellphone video technology, it's easy to document the adverse reactions (shitting and puking). Now I realize nobody of normal, sound mind would want to see this stuff unfold, but if you were being questioned by your employer and they doubted your veracity - well, there you go. Here's the proof. Let's roll the videotape. It would certainly lend credence to any future sick days. I'm not advocating this course of action. I just think it's an interesting angle considering the prevalence and ease of cellular technology.
Finally, food poisoning totally sucks. Though I did drop a couple of pounds, I wouldn't recommend it as a credible way to lose weight. I haven't eaten anything whatsoever (except the side of pasta salad) in about 30 hours. I made some coffee but only had a cup. The stuff is just too acidic. Right now I'm having some black tea, compliments of Bendy. I'm still experiencing some residual affects but, by and large, I feel way better. I think I'll eat some crackers in a few hours.