Thursday, January 05, 2012

Occupy methodology

I've watched the slow demise of the Occupy (insert name of metropolitan city here) Movement.  If this movement suffers a renaissance or rebirth, I think you'll see two new innovative tactics come to fruition.  They'll be related to appearance and structure.  I'm really surprised we haven't seen the emergence of this stuff.  Perhaps it was because the protests were generally peaceful.  If things really go to shit (which at some point is inevitable), look for the following:

Identity seems to be a key issue when it comes to the Occupy protest movement, especially in this day and age of video cameras on every street corner imaginable.  If I were one of the more influential leaders, I would encourage my people to dress as similarly as possible.  This applies to both men and women.  Tennis shoes, jeans and same colored t-shirts and a ball cap.  Loose fitting, untucked t-shirts are a good idea because it makes it more difficult to determine gender.  This might not appeal to the clownish local stripper that drives around in that Hummer machine, but that's okay.  Other than the sky-rocketing cost of boob jobs and manicures, I doubt she's really concerned with oligarchies and financial corruption.   If I suspected trouble or encounters with the police, I would distribute surgical physician masks to everyone.  You know... the kind everyone wears on the subway when there's a flu epidemic or another Sars outbreak in Asia.  These masks are dirt cheap (you can get them at any dollar store).  Not only to help mitigate the effects of breathing in tear gas, but also, they help you blend in.  I'd also have a mammoth bag of charcoal at each protest.  Not only could this be helpful in building fires for warmth or destructive purposes, but you can also use a single briquet to smear your face and further conceal your identity.  Any long-haired hippies or dread-heads... tell those stank asses to tuck all that tic-infested hair into their ball cap.

Another option for mass identity concealment - it might be a good idea to encourage protesters to wear clothing representing the local sports team.  This area has enough extra Steelers jerseys to clothe the planet 4 times over.  And with the added touch of team loyalty, it becomes more emotionally difficult for law enforcement to advance on the group.  It would be akin to breaking up a celebratory tailgate in Gold Lot 1.  If the cops went after one of your fellow fans, people will likely grow irate (unless the douchebag is wearing a Bubby Brister jersey).  Hell, why not start up a "Here we go Steelers, here we go" chant?  Why are the pigs harassing those jubilant Steelers fans?  Why do they hate the Steelers so much?  Bastards.

By making everyone at the protest appear identical, you achieve two critical goals.  First, it gives off the appearance of tight-knit unity.  This resonates an "us against them" mentality if tension begins to escalate or the protest turns violent.  But more importantly, any effort by the authorities to identify specific vandals or instigators becomes an exercise in futility.  If everyone appears identical and you can't even distinguish simple facial characteristics, it will be difficult to prosecute specific alleged offenses down the road.  And most importantly, it's in keeping with the notion of decentralization.  The minute you establish a leader, the cause immediately falls under scrutiny and becomes identifiable.  And that's when the movement begins to break down.  I'm completely shocked you haven't seen this tactic employed in any of the Arab uprisings. 

Another fascinating Occupy strategy was one that happened accidentally at the Portland, Oregon protest.  Local police formed a wall and began to advance on the crowd with the intention of clearing the city park.  One of the protesters galvanized the entire crowd to walk to city hall.  So all the occupiers formed a "snake" and joined hands.  As the police followed them about a half mile to the city-county building, the "snake" wove it's way through the streets.  But it was on a Sunday and the building was closed.  As the police prepared to disperse the crowd, the same Occupier suggested they walk down to the bar/club district.  Again, the police followed.  This happened as it began to grow dark (perfect timing).  But this time, the "snake" began to pick up additional appendages.  Naturally, all the bar-hoppers and drunks wanted to be a part of the action.  So they joined in.  Some juggled tennis balls, others blared music on boom boxes.  And there's always someone who feeld the need to bang on a trash can aka "the drum circle."  The whole protest took on this festive, traveling circus-like atmosphere.  But here's the bonus... the occupiers picked up additional protesters and it increased their numbers and mass.  This is the ultimate goal of an movement... recruitment.  But once again, the question popped up - "now where do we go?"  And another voice from the crowd beckoned, "Let's go back to the park!"

So after about 4-5 hours of gradually snaking through downtown Portland, they simply ended up exactly where they had started.  But here's the clincher... faced with the likely prospect of the entire event REPEATING itself, rather than forcefully clear the park, the police chief decided to just call it a night.   Brilliant!   You've got figure that at some point, eventually the cops will want to go home, grab a doughnut and get some sleep.  Plus, there would inevitably be negative feedback from the local population if the cops are getting paid overtime and not accomplishing anything.  Why is there a line of cops following these deadbeats?  They look like complete fools.  It's as if they're the "tail" of the "snake."  The point - rather than sitting still and hunkering down, keep the protest MOVING.  You can wind through fast food drive-thrus, bank lobbies, construction sites, wherever, picking up strays along the way.  And most importantly, it becomes vastly more difficult for the cops to use tear gas, rubber bullets, water or sound weapons, etc. for fear of innocents getting sprayed in the process. 

I think both of these Occupy strategies are so obvious.  Why aren't people trying them?  The reason... well, I suppose it's because things haven't gotten THAT bad.  Of course the system is gradually eroding your personal rights and financial security, but it just hasn't reached that critical mass.  When it does, look for this stuff I'm yapping about.

And in response to perfecting identity confusion and the snake, I suspect you'll eventually see countermeasures employing the use of "crowd dispersal drones."  It's already happening along the border and in some DEA matters.  That's when things will likely get ugly.  When there are no cops.  Instead, it'll be some MIT undergrad in northern Virgina operating a drone on a crowded city street in Manhattan (not the one in Kansas).  Yep, that's when people are really going to get pissed off.  When big brother doesn't send in the police or dispatch the National Guard.  Instead, they send in the tiny drones.  Remember that guy who used to release the hounds?  Well, his name was Mr. Burns.  I recall one time when he sicked a robotic Richard Simmons on Homer Simpson.  Yep.  That's when society will have gone to shit... when the android Deal-A-Meal shows up with a vengeance.  Give it another 7-8 years or so. 

1 comment:

sonofsaf said...

I just got to thinking...

In regard to the "Snake" Occupy method...

Perfect timing if it coincided with everyone's lunch hour. You could do it every day and even on weekends in the big cities.
Getting exercise on the lunch break is all the rage these days. Promote it as a light work-out and socially progressive entertainment. It would have strong appeal across the board (but mostly the 20-40 age group).

Seriously, why just sit on your ass in some creepy city park? An inspired rapper once said, "Get out da way bitch, get out da way. Move bitch. Get out day way."

And keeping in the spirit, I started jogging again after an almost 3 week hiatus.