I just got back from the annual 5 mile "Freedom Run" in glorious downtown Wheeling. Finishing time was 43 minutes and change. Not good, not bad. Other than the repetitive stench of sewage, I kind of like this race. It's flat and fast.
Of course, I opted for the usual "race bandit" approach. The next time there's one of those "Run from the Cops" benefits, I think I'm going to wear my PIGS SUCK t-shirt.
I haven't made it yet but it's a pretty cool design. On the front would be a picture of the infamous pig (of Pink Floyd fame).
Replace that text with "PIGS SUCK"
On the back of the shirt it reads:
I also like the AJKAWVNP (Atheist Jewish Kosher Alliance of the West Virginia Northern Panhandle).
I suppose this is a good time... or at least the manifestation thereof. One would think the furries would host their all-star convention when it's a little colder outside. Maybe October? Early July in the Burgh is a bit hot and muggy. Doesn't bode well for the rumored sexual proclivities of the animal-garbed weirdos. And what about all the fireworks? Assuming they're immersed in role-playing, wouldn't they all want to go hide in a utility closet or under a bed (nervously shaking and shivering).
Two years ago, Gigi was covering the furries and a "turtle" purposely stomped on her foot during the closing ceremonies (a parade where they march around a conference room). She was pissed about it. But I think that upright turtle was probably trying to teach her a lesson - you humans don't belong here. You're not part of our world! This is our time to shine. Leave us alone. Get the fuck outta here!
If I were a furry, what animal would I choose to emulate? A wolf, a dog, a fox??? I wouldn't even know how to answer an inquiry of such extravagant douchebaggery and unparalleled dumbshittedness.
The best part of Anthrocon 2013... it coincided with the final game of the Phillies/Pirates series. Hordes of Philly fans always show up at PNC Park. So at least the furries got a taste of some hardcore verbal bashing. I can hear the Philly fans now as they walk towards the ballpark. It's an old-school East coast scolding. "God damn piece-of-shit make-believe mutt. Get a life you fucking retard rhino. If I hear that owl "hoot" one more time, I'm gonna give him a smack." And the best part - the human-morphed animals won't talk back... so that makes the Philly fans even more irate.
Oddly enough, I had another encounter this morning with Pittsburgh Pirates owner Bob Nutting and talked about the you-know-what. He was very cordial... just like last time. But honestly, I think he'd prefer it if we lived in different cities. He'll smile diplomatically, but in his heart, I know he's thinking "for the love of god, not him again." And this was only our second encounter. So until the next time...
Am I the only one who would enjoy witnessing a late season, post all-star break Pirates collapse? Nope, there's Danno. Honestly, I have mixed emotions. It would be cool to see a Bucs playoff game. But it does go against everything I've been preaching for the last decade or so. There's just too much energy and talent this year. I think they make the post season and then likely falter under the high expectations.
Maybe the furries should have a 5K. Scampering through the streets of the Burgh. It would be a sight to behold. Sounds like one big furry hot mess. Finish it up with some kind of "furry orgy." Put the damn thing on pay-per-view and gross a few million. I've never ordered a pay-per-view event but I would not be entirely reticent or overtly dismissive.