Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Fleetwood Big Mac, Consol 5-Hour Energy

If you said, "Saf, you're an idiot.  You've never had a Big Mac?" (voice of astonishing bewilderment).

I would reply, "You may be correct.  I have a deep contempt for anything that resembles the appearance of Thousand Island dressing."  I'm assuming that's the gelatinous, vomitous-shite oozing from their sesame seed bun. 

The same thing's true for those liquified 5-hour gas station energy boosters.  I'm just not a big proponent or adherent of "trucker crack."

As I was saying, never eaten a Big Mac.  I've had most of the other stuff on the menu.  Not really, but enough to satiate my McCuriousity.  It's odd that I've never sampled their culinary flagship item.

I also don't care for pseudo-ephedrine.  We used to call them minithins.  Disgusting.  They burn your brains out while simultaneously making your dick shrink.  How on earth could this be a beneficial outcome?

End late night rant

If you made it through that discombobulated intro, you're probably more inclined to read my thoughts on the Fleetwood Mac show.  And just for the record... READ THE FAQ ,YOU FUCKING YINZER NEWBIE.  I've attended many demonic rock concerts and events of that ilk.  In fact, a crew of us are going to King Diamond at Stage AE on Sunday.  This ain't Burger King.  This is the king.

These two have more in common than you'd think.  Aside from the top hat, I can sense a little religious posturing.  Perhaps they're remote, distant relatives --- third cousins I reckon'.  Hard to believe that a heavy metal satanist would "make his bones" hailing from Scandinavia.  You wouldn't think his schtick wouldn't sell too well out Reyjkavik way.  Not sure if Stevie Nicks has ever visited  Denmark (which is generally considered agnostic/atheist territory).  Tonight, she yapped for a bit about living in San Fransisco.

Anyone remember when the South Park kids rescued a goat named "Stevie Nicks?"

It helped make sense of 9/11 and the war in Afghanistan.  Iraq... not so much.

In fact, I've seen the Big Macs a total of four times.  Hard to believe.

I'm at Gigi's house.  I don't have access to my ticket stubs.  But I'm almost positive the years are correct.

1997 - Starlake.  One of my absolute favorite concerts of all time.  I was in the back seat of Angie's blue Cavalier and she totally chunked (ran over) a monster dead deer in the middle of 22.  At the moment of impact, she screamed "Holy shit!  Hang on!"  She didn't have much of a choice.  We were briefly airborne.  Damn carcass came out of nowhere.  I'll never forget the ride up because I was complaining the whole way wondering... hey, why we didn't go Rt. 7.  Seriously, who the hell goes Rt. 2?  Unless you're hitting Drover's on the early side, I just don't see it.  Maybe takeout for the lot.  That would be a powerful statement --- a Drover's Starlake Mac Attack.  I'm also big on Dee Jays ribs - very high end Boogerstown cuisine.

2009 - Mellon (we call it Igloo).  Strong show.  Cold & windy as hell.  We met up with Nicki & Mike and had a mediocre dinner at a nearby hotel.  Neither of us were hungry.  I remember Gigi ordered some kind of potato-leek soup... just to make everyone feel warm and comfortable.  I vaguely recall drinking a Dewars and a Miller Lite.  Far less comforting.  We snagged 2 tickets for $20.  We weren't as adamant back then... regarding the Ann Landers freebie etiquette.  Ask nicely and be appreciative!  Ended up front row on the side.

2013 - Consol.  Fun one.  This time it was another total freebie.  In fact, I'm pretty sure we ended up on the + $ side.  And once again, front row side.  We likes the side of the stage.  The only thing better is "sidal nudity" (George Costanza).

2014 - Consol again.  So it was a good one.  We snagged one ticket off this guy who insisted I regale him with a "Let's Go... Mountaineers" chant.  Even though it's not part of my normal routine, I obliged him.  We scored that one around 7:45pm.  Things were getting a little dicey around 8:05pm.  After all, our last trip to Consol ended in tragedy.  So you can only imagine our collective trepidation.  But sure enough, some dude showed up and handed Gigi a freebie.  At first, we thought he was a Fleetwood Creeper*, but twas not the case.

*  I tried the mail order bride option... but to no avail.  I'll give you my extra ticket if you sit with me and let me tell you how I want to lick your shin and towards the end of the night... possibly calf or thigh.

We ended up hanging in the First Niagara Club overhang.  I would call this particular section the "men's restroom box/utility closet/behind the sheer black curtain" zone."  And guess what, we like it.  Excellent side view of everything... stage, monitor and wide screen.  Plenty of room and far less stench than a famed Woodsdale establishment.  It's odd how people reject the spacious, hidden corridors.  Me personally --- oh yeah, I prefer the madness of random weirdos and the smooshing of neighborly gock and the cramming of mysterious gunt.  But don't sweat it.  We ended up heading down to the Lower-Upper St. Clair $170 seats for the encore segment.

Sooooo.  My thoughts on the concert.  Very enjoyable.  I really liked The Chain > You Make Loving Fun opener.  Another highlight was the extended Gold Dust Woman.  But Gypsy was the big winner. 

I thought Buckingham was a little melodramatic... but then again, that's part of his charm.  Should probably consider omitting Big Love from the setlist.   Time to give it a rest.  Christie McVie is an incomprehensible bad ass.  Reminds me of Tom Araya from Slayer - another consummate professional.  She doesn't even have to try.  It just comes naturally.  All in all, I'd say it was a "heartfelt" show.

Great setlist:

  1. (Lindsey solo, acoustic)
  2. (Lindsey solo, acoustic)
  3. Encore:
  4. (Mick drum solo)
  5. Encore 2:

Next up:  King Diamond > Steelers/Texans MNF. 

Many people ask,  "WWJD?"  I say fuck that.  I ask, "WWKDD?" 

Also... what would Jack Lambert do?  WWJLD.

These are valid questions for any aspiring politician.

Ask Tennant.  Ask Capito.  Just do it.  Election day will soon be upon us!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Donny was my ticket guy!!! Cheers to him!
Great night, great show!
Shocked you made no mention of this being our first concert back since Paul McCartney.