#56. Tom Rice

Check out this picture of a standing Tom Rice (R-SC) with a seated Orange Prolapse.  

It seems like they're best buds.  Wrong!  Rice was one of 10 "heroic" House Republicans who deemed Trump's second impeachment was "constitutional."  Now, Rice is Trump's mortal enemy.  Rice's vote resulted in a strong backlash from his fellow Repubic Hairs.  Yesterday, the South Carolina Republican Party formally voted to censure him.  Shame!

So I'm gonna take an obligatory minute and dedicate this parody to Rice.

Tom Rice
sonofsaf

How long has Trump haunted
Impeachment is due
The Dems are cockroaches
They all know how to screw
He lied
Oh, how he’s lied
To his wife, yes his wife
She’s not a Jew

Oh he’s Tom Rice he’s gonna pay
With all the blame that’s here to stay
Makes me know it was all just one big super con
'Cause it's the blame he’s gonna choose
With Donald Trump he’s gonna lose
And Tom Rice is our best hope to git’r’dun

Seems he wasn’t chosen
The voters overruled
As the gay ass needs a lover
Election was ridiculed
‘Tard crimes,
Oh tard crimes,
For the lies, oh the lies,
For me and you

Oh he’s Tom Rice he’s gonna pay
With all the blame that’s here to stay
Makes me know it was all just one big super con
'Cause it's the blame he’s gonna choose
With Donald Trump he’s gonna lose
And Tom Rice is our best hope to git’r’dun

Oh he’s Tom Rice he’s gonna pay
With all the blame that’s here to stay
Makes me know it was all just one big super con
'Cause it's the blame he’s gonna choose
With Donald Trump he’s gonna lose
And Tom Rice is our best hope to git’r’dun

Oh he’s Tom Rice he’s gonna pay
With all the blame that’s here to stay
Makes me know it was all just one big super con
'Cause it's the blame he’s gonna choose
With Donald Trump he’s gonna lose
And Tom Rice is our best hope to git’r’dun

 

The Price
Twisted Sister

How long I have wanted
This dream to come true
And as it approaches
I can't believe I'm through
I've tried,
Oh, how I've tried
For a life, yes a life
I thought I knew

Oh it's the price we gotta pay
And all the games we gotta play
Makes me wonder if it's worth it to carry on
'Cause it's a game we gotta lose,
Though it's a life we gotta choose
And the price is our own life until it's done

Time seems to have frozen
But the mind can be fooled
As the days pass I discover
Destiny just can't be ruled
Hard times,
Oh hard times,
For the prize, yes the prize,
I thought I knew

Oh it's the price we gotta pay
And all the games we gotta play
Makes me wonder if it's worth it to carry on
'Cause it's a game we gotta lose,
Though it's a life we gotta choose
And the price is our own life until it's done

Oh it's the price we gotta pay
And all the games we gotta play
Makes me wonder if it's worth it to carry on
'Cause it's a game we gotta lose,
Though it's a life we gotta choose
And the price is our own life until it's done

Oh it's the price we gotta pay
And all the games we gotta play
Makes me wonder if it's worth it to carry on
'Cause it's a game we gotta lose,
Though it's a life we gotta choose
And the price is our own life until it's done

Never seen Twisted Sister live.  Back around 2005, they were supposed to play the Pepsi Cola Roadhouse next to Star Lake.  I was planning to attend but they ended up canceling due to lack of advance ticket sales.  I've been inside that venue only once.  Dropped off a crew for the Little River Band.  What's unusual about the place is that they incorporate a sit down dinner into the cost of the ticket.  Which elevates the cost of the average ticket to just under a hundred bucks.  So had the concert come to fruition, I would have had my choice of steak or chicken and Twisted Sister.  I find something about this amusing.  Although I'm not sure exactly what.  Probably the trivial pre-concert conversations before Dee Snider takes the stage.  "Uh, medium rare and can you make sure the sour cream for my baked potato is on the side.  Then, during the concert...  "Stop yer fist banging.  You're shaking the entire table!  You just spilled the Italian dressing."

Please do not share this information with Tom Rice (R-SC), former President Donald Trump, Dee Snider, Twisted Sister fans, and/or members of the South Carolina Republican party.