Thursday, April 28, 2005

Figs

I always hear, "Saf, you suck. You go out to eat and all you do is bitch." This is generally true. Probably because most of the places to eat in Wheeling rank somewhere between mid-end and poor. There is an exception. Lo and behold, it's Figaretti's. This place is decent. The food is always above average. The atmosphere is very pleasant. The sevrice is exceptional. Even the parking situation is good, although it is subdivided into 2 separate lots. Fortunately, if the 2 lots are full, you can even park in a nearby dentist's lot. The dentist's lot probably has the best asphalt but it's also the farthest walk.
I usually just go here for lunch but every once in a while I'll try dinner. Most of my reviews are based on lunches anyway. I highly recommend the mushroom ravioli. Just about any of the pasta dishes are ok although the menu has an interesting discrepancy. The term meatballs actually refers to one lone meatball. This is comparable to the old bait and switch. The only other problem is the musical selection. They have a comprehensive jukebox but if the owner is present all he will listen to is a Frank Sinatra Greatest Hits cd. Although some think, wow great, that's perfect for an Italian restaurant, I find it gets a bit obsessive and stale. Keep in mind, this is the same cd played over and over again. Sometimes you may even hear the same song repeatedly played during the same meal. I mean, hey, we all like "ol blue eyes" but there comes a breaking point. In fact, I really don't like Sinatra at all. Come to think of it, I really don't mind Sinatra - what I despise are the karaoke imitators. You can also substitute Neil Diamond on this one. Sweet Caroline could be the most annoying bar sing-a-long song of all time. On a scale of 1-10, Figs gets a solid 8.5.

1 comment:

sonofsaf said...

Wow, an opportunity to speak with the Lord, albeit via email. I'm not exactly sure whether it's the Lord of Belmont County or the Lord of the universe; either way, it's an unusual opportunity considering my status as a non-believer.
Restaurant reviews are entirely subjective and usually consist of several factors. The quality of food is probably the most important thing to consider, because let's face it, if the food sucks, why would anyone voluntarily go there? However, there are a myriad of reasons that Figs gets a high rating. One of the most compelling reasons is ambience and atmosphere. Simply put, it's a pleasant place to dine. The booths are comfortable. Even the bar stools are comfy and I'm pretty sure they've outlawed cigars. Plus, the decor is pleasant as well. A touch of Wheeltown history is evident on the walls. And even though I could pass on the baby pictures and the brown/white pictograph of Grandmas Gerturde and Esther, I really don't mind getting to know the family. I once golfed with Dino when I was a youngin'. All in all, the atmosphere is both warm and inviting and the temperature is always agreeable.
Now I realize that there aren't world class chefs in the background, but hey, this is Wheeling and you've got to take that into account. Chances are the cook is both intoxicated and smoking, just hopefully not ashing in your food. Basically, the food is above average. I don't think I've ever had a "bad" meal there. Maybe the pasta could be a bit more al dente.
The wait staff is very quite courteous and PUNCTUAL. Would you believe it if I told you that God himself is not punctual. In fact he's usually 30 minutes late. You never hear that one. I don't think anyone has ever had the unmitigated audacity to question God's tardiness.
The place is also clean. Don't overlook the cleanliness factor. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, or something like that.
Price is another consideration - pretty much in keeping with the other local establishments.
Anyway, the most important thing to keep in mind is that these are local non-chain restaurant reviews (although I may choose to review that cracker thing which is the body of Christ or something at a later date), so it is vital to recognize that many of the local eateries suck. All in all, I stand by the 8.5, but always welcome future input from the God of your choice, may he treat you well.