Heather and I went to the annual Chili Cook-off thing in downtown Wheeling. Believe it or not, this is a really high end event. Aspiring Chili artisans come from as far as Cincinnati to compete. I usually stick with the samples from the out of towners. My reasoning being that if they travel more than an hour, their chili must be decent. For the most part, it's a safe assumption.
When I arrived I tried some salsa and was admonished by Heather. "You can't do that. That's not for you." I explained that it was a free sample. After about 5 minutes of repeated explanations, she reluctantly agreed. I consumed about 12 different samples. The best ones are usually the green chili concoctions. They should start serving a green vegetarian version of chili at Wendy's. I think it would be a big hit. Well, maybe not. After the finger controversy, the last thing you'd probably want to do is kick off a new chili promotional campaign.
Danno was one of the judges this year. I asked him who won the thing and he had no idea. The best way to win a chili cook-off is to LIE about where you're from. For example, Devil's Kitchen, Nebraska or Hot Springs, Arkansas or Firepit, Indiana. Well, you get the drift. Some of the Wheeling judges would easily be duped.
Anyway, for those that did not attend, I highly recommend it. A great time was had by all. And by the way, wear a dark shirt so if you accidentally spill some chili on yourself, you don't look like a fuckin' retard.
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Beans, beans the magical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel
So eat some bean for every meal!
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