list #3

Peanut Delight No Melt Suet - I've never been an aspiring ornithologist, but a few years ago my friend Ken turned me onto bird watching. I'm hardly an expert but I have developed a minor appreciated for our feathered friends. It's well worth the 30 bucks a year to throw out some bird seed. Plus, I get an occasional squirrel altercation. This suet is the best because it doesn't leave a filmy substance on your fingers. I have no interest in whether the birds prefer the suet that costs an extra 20 cents. They should appreciate my limited generosity during an economic recession.

Michelina's Budget Gourmet Angel Hair Pasta in Meat Sauce - This could possibly be the best frozen pasta. You can only get it at Reisbecks. For some reason they sell every variety at Krogers and Walmart with the exception of this one. Kind of ironic since it blows everything else away. 5 grams of fat - relatively healthy for one of those cheapo dollar pasta things.

Lone Star Beef Jerky - Hands down, the best beef jerky. Only available at the Claysville Exxon and well worth the trip. People eat some disgusting stuff when it comes to the realm of beef jerky. That Jack-Links stuff is atrocious despite having the best tv commercial of the year. The one where those guys are tormenting sasquatch on the golf course and then he assaults their golf cart. Hysterical. Slim Jim products are really disgusting and if you aren't feeling just a little embarrassed when you look into the eyes of the cashier as she scans the oily meatlike product, you have my deepest sympathies. How could a normal person emotionally rebound from something so traumatic, especially knowing that you brought this conundrum upon yourself? Honestly, we all have free will. We all make choices of our own volition. There's no reason to put yourself in a position like that. I can only envision one scenario where it would be marginally acceptable and that's if you suffer from some degree of mental retardation.

Water - I think the best brand of bottled water is Crystal Geyser. Nestle Pure Life, Roxane and Ice Mountain are decent choices as well. I'm unable to fathom why anyone would purchase Dasani. The stuff tastes like they added a ton of chemicals. I'm not sure what it is but you can really taste the iron. Perhaps it's some kind of zinc with just a hint of magnesium. I do not know.

...more consumer advice will be forthcoming.