Monday, September 13, 2010

the return of Westboro Baptist Church

It appears the Westboro Baptist Church is coming back to Wheeling on Monday, Oct. 4. They plan to protest at Wheeling Jesuit University from 1:15 - 1:45pm. They're also hitting up Trinity high school in Washington, PA later in the afternoon. While I was mildly satisfied with the press coverage of Super Soakapalooza, the actual event never really got off the ground. I had visions of college kids pummeling those morons with gallons of water.

It's the presence of the children which makes things troublesome. They use these kids aged 5-10 as a "shield" of sorts. Probably a wise move on their part as it keeps things from truly getting out of hand. While I do feel sympathy for the little kids, I still believe these morons need to be held accountable. And while I do support the extreme elements of the first amendment, you simply cannot have these people protesting military funerals without there being some form of consequence. There must be some kind of balance which applies to these situations. They can't be permitted free reign.

What to do... What to do...
Here's a thought. Last time they were here, they traveled from site to site in a large minivan. While they were outside at St. Michael's Church I noticed a couple of things. First, they had a pretty big stack of signs that leaned up against a pole. They would occasionally pick up and hoist different signs. They seemed very committed to mixing up the message. Second, there was an abundance of teenagers riding around on bicycles. Woodsdale being a very family oriented neighborhood, this was hardly a surprise. After all, kids want to see what the hell is going on. Third was the limited police presence. Only 2 cops were escorting them around and trying to keep things under control.

So here's the deal. I want one of their signs for my home. I'll probably display it in the library downstairs. I'm thinking either "God Hates Catholics" or the one with 2 male stick figures engaging in sodomy. Maybe I could persuade a teenager on a bicycle to snag one of the signs and meet up with me at an undisclosed location. If there are only 2 cops, chances are they wouldn't stand much of a chance on foot. The only problem is that I assume school would be in session. Last time they came on a Saturday.

Maybe I should just go for it. Seriously, what the fuck are they gonna do? Chase after me? Charge me with misdemeanor theft? All I would need is a little diversion. Wouldn't it be an amusing system disruption if you encouraged young kids to steal their signs and then sell them on ebay. Maybe donate a percentage of the proceeds toward a gay rights cause or something the Westboro fucks virulently oppose.
I want one of those signs. I'm very receptive to suggestions. I suppose I could tail their minivan. Maybe they'll stop at a rest stop on I-70 en route to Washington, PA. When they use the restroom, I move in for the blatant theft and make a hasty exit. Another option would be if they stop to grab a bite to eat (probably a fast food place). Then again, they'd probably just hit a drive thru since they're always on the go. I must have one of those signs.


Mary Lynn said...

Just don't try it in Washington, where they are planning a much bigger police presence. North Franklin Township is a small community, with an even smaller police force, but I believe I read that six surrounding communities have pledged police support and the state police will be providing backup, if needed.

Mary Lynn said...
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Larry said...

I was thinking you were planning on switching one of their signs leaning against the pole with one of your signs hoping they'd pick it up without looking at it. I could see us, as non-religious guys, coming up with some "God is Gay" signs or something.