Thursday, August 30, 2012

Night #2 of the RNC

I'm trying to come up with a decent analogy to explain the difference between the first and second nights of the Republican National Convention.

The first night is to the second night as Jerry Sandusky is to Ron Jeremy.
The first night is to the second night as the Wheeling Intelligencer is to the New York Times.
The first night is to the second night as Yeungling can is to Guinness bottle.

I think you get the point. 

John McCain - I thought the content was atrocious, but he did give a good speech.  Seriously, does the American public really have the appetite for additional wars and occupations in places like Syria, Libya, Yemen, Iran, etc.  McCain is so relentlessly hawkish, I'm surprised he didn't call for the "reunification" of Canada and Mexico.  I guess if you're going to call Obama "weak" on foreign policy, you need to amp up the rhetoric. 

Susana Martinez - Fantastic speaker.  Came across as humble and neighborly.  These are qualities desperately needed in the Republican party elite.  She knew how to connect.  Mitch McConnell?  Well, he can connect too.  Maybe to an aging Romulan in a nursing home.

Mike Huckabee - I'm not a fan of the pastor, but he does give these solid speeches.  His delivery is always spot-on.  I thought the low-blow comment about Debbie Wasserman Shultz sounded kind of bizarre, but all in all, Huckabee always seems comfortable and relates well to the crowd and the television audience.  I forgot he won 8 states in the 2008 Republican primary.  Scary... isn't it?  Well, maybe not "scary."  Let's go with "alarmingly terrifying."

Condi Rice - Obviously, she was the star of the night.  The only one who didn't use a teleprompter.  She speaks from the heart.  Lots of high-minded platitudes and soaring rhetoric.  Coming off the heels of that speech, Romney really needs to leak her name for a high level cabinet position.  She hit a grand slam.

Paul Ryan - I thought he came across as calm and collected, focused, determined and resolute.  For someone with minimal national exposure, he reaffirmed his credibility for the Vice Presidential slot.  Very important coming off the Palin fiasco of 2008.  He made the Republican party appear very mainstream, almost centrist.  This is critical for Romney.  

All in all, it was a very strong night for the Republicans.  They managed to silence Ron Paul and his supporters and for the most part, not come across as "crazy right wing."  Even though 90% of the crowd should likely be committed to what's left of the Roney's Point mental asylum out rt. 40.

I know that Marco Rubio and obviously Romney are speaking tonight.  I wonder if Jeb Bush is speaking.  He usually sets a decent tone of moderation.  Maybe they should consider having someone speak who isn't a politician.  No, not Joe the Plumber.  Just someone relatively well-known from outside the political spectrum. 

The overall tone of the convention improved markedly.  If last night was any indication, Romney is doing a great job of distancing himself from that primary of lunatics and basket cases.  Makes you forget all about Herman "999" Cain and Michele Bachmann.  Pawlenty... well, he was forgotten about long ago. 

Hearing a Mitt Romney speech is kind of like watching a "thrilling preseason" NFL game.  Perfect for tonight because Carolina is at Pittsburgh.  I'm guessing that Mitt will deliver a "fine" speech that "meets" everyones expectations.  Kind of like the review for the 5th grade play in the school auditorium. The headline will read...


Someone should do a "Twelve Days of Christmas" parody for the Republican National Convention.

On the 1st day of the RNC, Chris Chirstie gave to me... 1 supersized McDonalds French Fry.
On the 2nd day of the RNC, Donald Trump gave to me... 2 Obama fake birth certificates.
On the 3rd day of the RNC, Mike Huckabee gave to me... 3 Gideon bibles.

I'd also use 4 American flags a waving, 5 Smith and Wessons, 6 bombs for abortion clinics blowing upping, 7 rape and incestuous fetuses a growing, 8 downsizing and shipping jobs overseas occurring, 9 tax returns you'll never be seeing, 10 Caribbean bank accounts offshoring, 11 missionaries proselytizing, 12 domestic programs a cutting...

I would encourage someone, other than myself, to write this song.  It has good potential for viral social media.  What the hell, maybe I'll give it a shot during the Steelers game tonight.  The emotional backdrop of the final preseason game could provide that zing of inspirational fervor.  

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