Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Wheeling Dog Park Revisited


I left an unusual comment on the local newspaper website.  
I'm curious to see if they take it down.  There's no profanity but it's kind of on the twisted side.
You be the judge.  Will they...

A.  Leave everything unchanged
B.  Remove only my comment (currently speaking, nobody else has yet to chime in)
C.  Remove the entire comment section thus disabling any future comments

My hunch is they'll choose option C.



























No Dogs Allowed

April 2, 2013 - Heather Ziegler
There is a new sign posted at the entrance to Mount Calvary Cemetery in Wheeling. It simply states "No Dogs." It's a green sign placed next to the cemetery sign. You might miss it if you drive too fast past it, but people walking their dogs ought to be able to see it right away. The sign resulted after a woman, whose family is buried there, complained about dog dirt on the road and on gravesites. She lamented that it's holy ground and people ought to respect that. After all there is a park right next to the cemetery, a walking trail nearby and plenty of public sidewalks on which to walk dogs. Chad Carter, chancellor for the diocese, agreed and had the sign placed in the cemetery. Workers are encouraged to DISCOURAGE those found walking their pets in the graveyard. I applaud that effort. The woman who made the complaint told me that even if dog owners pick up their animal's excrement, the dogs are still urinating in the cemetery. "You can't pick up urine!" she said. The cemetery has enough challenges with wildlife -- deer, rabbits, geese, etc. -- and they don't need to be cleaning up after pets. Across the road at Greenwood Cemetery, pets have not been allowed in the graveyard for at least 15 years. It took some time to convince pet owners who walked their dogs there, but officials said it has finally sunk in to most people. If there was ever an argument for establishing a dog park in Wheeling, this is it!

Comments:

sonofsaf

I live adjacent to the Mt. Cavalry cemetery, so I feel my input is both relevant and justified.

Some random thoughts. Firstly, I applaud the politically correct reference to canine excrement as dog "dirt." Excessive vulgarity regarding animal waste expulsion is wholly unnecessary in a civilized society. Kudos.

Secondly, I concur with the aforementioned woman's observation. "You can't pick up urine!" Indeed... we hold this truth to be self evident. Perhaps the time has finally come for pet owners to establish a higher degree of accountability regarding future animalistic urinary endeavors aka "pee parties." I would suggest something in the way of attachable plastic "weenie bags" or in the case of b*tches... vag bags.

Finally, this post fails to address any problems associated with pet vomit. Dog vomit, or as I like to call it, woof-barf, is a growing epidemic. Mandatory "puker scoopers," enforced by the Ohio County Health Department could constitute a viable solution. The cause is just and it could become a significant, bone-us source of revenue for the city of Wheeling.

3 comments:

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sonofsaf said...

One week later, here's the comment thread in anti-chronological order. It's my deepest wish to see this excrementalicious journey continue unabated.



Article Comments
(8)
page: | 1-8 | Post a comment
Report Abuse »
mikeyd
Apr-08-13 8:17 AM

maybe some fracking fluid will end up in there.the rain will wash animal waste away.some people will whine about anything.

Report Abuse »
sonofsaf
Apr-07-13 10:05 AM

RUSerious - you obviously speak from experience. Rumor has it that you went to an Eric Clapton concert and had some kind of spastic colon/bowel explosion in a defenseless Marriot Hotel restroom.

whgfeeling - It would be a great honor... urinary, fecal and vomitary compliance are issues I take very personally. Grow up!

Report Abuse »
daWraith
Apr-07-13 9:45 AM

So deer ***t is OK? Squireel p*** OK??

They are DEAD!!!

Do you REALLY think the "residents" care?

Report Abuse »
whgfeeling
Apr-07-13 12:49 AM

sonofsaf..placing these bags you speak of sound like the right job for you.

Report Abuse »
Psylocke
Apr-06-13 6:25 PM

Why on earth are people walking their dogs in a graveyard? Sounds very creepy to me and not a place to hang out...

Report Abuse »
RUSerious
Apr-03-13 1:41 PM

Sonofpuke raises some excellent talking points that should be addressed at the next dog park meeting.

Report Abuse »
sonofsaf
Apr-02-13 5:58 PM

constitute a viable solution. The cause is just and it could become a significant, bone-us source of revenue for the city of Wheeling.

Report Abuse »
sonofsaf
Apr-02-13 5:53 PM

I live adjacent to the Mt. Cavalry cemetery, so I feel my input is both relevant and justified.

Some random thoughts. Firstly, I applaud the politically correct reference to canine excrement as dog "dirt." Excessive vulgarity regarding animal waste expulsion is wholly unnecessary in a civilized society. Kudos.

Secondly, I concur with the aforementioned woman's observation. "You can't pick up urine!" Indeed... we hold this truth to be self evident. Perhaps the time has finally come for pet owners to establish a higher degree of accountability regarding future animalistic urinary endeavors aka "pee parties." I would suggest something in the way of attachable plastic "weenie bags" or in the case of b*tches... vag bags.

Finally, this post fails to address any problems associated with pet vomit. Dog vomit, or as I like to call it, woof-barf, is a growing epidemic. Mandatory "puker scoopers," enforced by the Ohio County Health

page: | 1-8 | Post a comment