Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Westboro Baptist Church Golf Tees

I recently stumbled across this meme on facebook.

It reinvigorated my interest in "system disruptions" as it applies to my arch nemesis, the Westboro Baptist Church.

Personalized golf tees are relatively inexpensive.  A fair online price is 1,000 quality wooden tees for about $49.99 + s/h.

Here's my suggestion.  Make a ton of golf tees that read:

Westboro Baptist Church


Sunday golf is sin
Westboro Baptist Church


Golfers are drunkards. Repent.
Westboro Baptist Church

You can personalize them with 1-3 lines.  The premise here is pretty obvious.  Whenever you go golfing, you occasionally scatter a few tees on the tee boxes.  Takes absolutely no effort whatsoever.  A box of tees makes a great Christmas gift for uncle Joe as well.  Trust me, it would be a fantastic conversation starter for when everyone's unwrapping gifts.

All golfers share one thing in common.  They all visually scan the tee box for a fresh tee.  Whenever you find a tee on the box or a ball in the woods, your first instinctive thought is... SCORE!

Now imagine incurring the wrath of the typical drunken golfer --- someone who just hooked their drive into the woods or missed a 3 foot putt.  The first thing that's going to pop into his head... "What the fuck was the Westboro Baptist Church doing here?"  Why the fuck were these assholes on my course?"

Naturally, a phone number is provided.  And since everyone has a cell phone on them these days, I'm pretty sure that at least one member of the foursome would goad someone into making the call.  It's merely a percentage play.  Just like everything else, it's a numbers game.  So when the brainwashed secretarial devotee in Topeka, Kansas picks up the phone at WBC Headquarters, they get bombarded with a seemingly nonsensical tirade.  

Stay the hell out of Canyon Resort you bastards!  Go preach your bullshit somewhere else!    
Don't tell me how to spend my day off, you fucking pieces of biblical shit!
Fuck you!  If I wanna drink a 6-pack, that's my business!  Not yours, asshole!

I like this idea because it promotes an aberrant discourse with people who go to extreme lengths to promote their own unique brand of fire and brimstone absurdity.  Seriously, these losers went out of their way to "protest" the funerals of the 2nd grade kids who were mowed down at Sandy Hook.  How could any rational person do something like that?  Even serial killers have better moral instincts.  You know you're on the wrong track when your popularity ranking is 3 points below cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer.

They're in Orlando as well.   I just think it's time for a little payback on the planet.  Or at the very least, a little balance.  

If you find this idea appealing, you may want to check out another one of my ideas that would transform the sport of golf.  I've gotten a fair amount of hits on this blog I wrote about five years ago.

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