And furthermore, regarding the 2008 "Goodbye Toby" episode from The Office, here's my parody for Michael Scott's blip reference to Bonnie Tyler's smash hit from the early 80's.
Dedicated to my friend Terri M's late mother Bonnie of Martins Ferry, OH. She let me crash on her couch during my nomadic summer of 1991. Also, dedicated to the reoccurring "country music phenomenon" of parents who name their male children after major cities in the state of Texas (Dallas, Houston, Austin, Tyler, Bryan, even Denton, etc.). I believe it has already had a permanent impact on American society. Not for the better.
Total Eclipse of the Fart
sonofsaf
Every now and then I eat a little baloney
And my farts don’t make a sound
(Pass some gas) every now and then I eat a little deep fried
cajun chicken and French fries through the years
(Pass some gas), every now and then I eat a little ba-rat worst.
That all the you can eat costs so much why
(pass some gas) every now and then I eat little beef rare-i-fied
And then I smell the gas from your ass
(Pass some gas, stink ass) every now and then I have to fart
(Pass some gas, stink ass) every now and then I have to fart
And I’ll eat with all my might
And I’ll eat you out forever
And if you only let me shite
Don’t talk about the weather
And we’ll only be drinking the Sprite
‘Cause we’ll shit out this song
Together we’ll get take out til the end of our time
Your pussy’s like a pillow on me when it’s bedtime (when it’s bedtime)
I don't want the bowl of stew and I always want the pork
We're drinking bottles of red wine and unscrewing corks
I really need you to shite
Whatever is not wrong or right
Whatever is not wrong or right
Once upon a time I was shitting above
But now I’m only smelling the farts
An odor all for you
A total eclipse of the fart
Once upon a time, I pooped my pants twice
And now I’m crap in the dark
Shitting so they say
A total eclipse of the fart
every now and then I have to fart
(Pass some gas, stink ass) every now and then I have to fart
And I’ll eat with all my might (and I’ll eat you out)
And I’ll eat you out forever
And if you only you let me shite (if you only)
Don’t talk about the weather
And we'll only be drinking the Sprite (Coca Cola)
'Cause we'll shit out this song
Together we’ll get take out til the end of our time
Your pussy’s like a pillow on me when it’s bedtime (when it’s bedtime)
I don't want the bowl of stew and I always want the pork
We're drinking bottles of red wine and unscrewing corks
I really need you to shite
Whatever is not wrong or right
Whatever is not wrong or right
Once upon a time I was shitting above
But now I'm only smelling the farts
Shitting so they say
A total eclipse of the fart
A total eclipse of the fart
A total eclipse of the fart
Pass some gas, stink ass
Total Eclipse of the Heart
Bonnie Tyler
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely
And you're never coming 'round
(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit tired
Of listening to the sound of my tears
(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit nervous
That the best of all the years have gone by
(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit terrified
And then I see the look in your eyes
(Turn around, bright eyes) every now and then I fall apart
(Turn around, bright eyes) every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
every now and then I fall apart
(Turn around, bright eyes) every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight (and I need you now)
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight (if you only)
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right (and we'll never)
'Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)
I don't know what to do, I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart
Turn around, bright eyes
Never had the displeasure of seeing Bonnie Tyler live in concert. I suppose that if I was at the Pittsburgh Arts Festival and she was performing a freebie concert on the main stage, I'd likely hang out on the periphery until she sang her #1 song. But that's about it.
Please do not share this information with Bonnie Tyler, fans of The Office, and/or people who experience gas.
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