#354. I Wanna Be Like Mike

For the life of me, I can't understand why Mike Pence is swallowing what's left of his Pavlovian pride.  Hell, it went from 1% to .1%.  Move that decimal point over you bitch.  Pence just announced plans to hit up the campaign circuit in New Hampshire in June of 2021... for November 2024.  

(Possibly the most singularly repetitive, annoyingly familiar pic...  circa 2016-2020)

Is he really that inept?  Does he really think that Trump is gonna have this "magic moment" and suddenly endorse him in 2024?  All of 'em really.  Nikki Haley?  Mike Pompeo?  Ted Cruz?  Why would the Orange Prolapse back any of them?  What would be in it for him?  Why would he give a shit?

 

I Wanna Be Like Mike
sonofsaf

Mother I cream
Call you mommy
You watch me pee it’s a wet dream for me
You disapprove, I scream for lube
Like Mike
If I ass kissed like Mike
Like Mike
Oh, if I licked ass like Mike
Be like Mike, Be like Mike
You make me cry
I hope you die
Why do you play when you're so
God damn gay
I cream with lube
The cream from tube
Like Mike
If I ass kissed like Mike
I wanna be, I wanna be
Like Mike
Oh, if I licked ass like Mike 

I Wanna Be Like Mike
Michael Jordan Nike Commercial

Sometimes I dream
That he is me
You've got to see that's how I dream to be
I dream I move, I dream I groove
Like Mike
If I could be like Mike
Like Mike
Oh, if I could be like Mike
Be like Mike, be like Mike
Again I try
Just need to fly
For just one day if I could
Be that way
I dream I move
I dream I groove
Like Mike
If I could be like Mike
I wanna be, I wanna be
Like Mike
Oh, if I could be like Mike

I've been to only one NBA game in my entire life.*  Not sure why we were in New York City.  But when I was an annoying adolescent, my father took us to see the Knicks trounce the Atlanta Hawks (I think) by like 35 points.

Decades later, I was milling around downtown Phoenix and scored freebies to a Phoenix Suns game.  But minutes later managed to snag freebie tickets to a Willie Nelson concert at the nearby Dodge Theatre.  

2-10-06, Dodge Theatre, Phoenix, AZ

Naturally I sold the Suns and hit up the free Willie.  During the summer of that same year, I had a random encounter with Willie Nelson in the back of a hotel parking lot in Queensbury, NY. 

* I've seen the Harlem Globetrotters beat the Washington Generals on two occasions.  Not sure what that means.

Please do not share this material with former Vice President Mike Pence, NBA superstar Michael Jordan, and/or anyone who wears Nike products.