One might ask the inevitable question, "What about Bob Evans and Outback Steakhouse?" I know he has eaten there. I offer this explanation. It would be an exercise in futility to review the myriad of chain restaurants. Most are relatively decent, otherwise they'd not be able to survive. There is one glaring exception - the entity known as Cracker Barrel. What the fuck is this place? You walk in and there's some half-assed gift shop that sells grandma candy circa the early 1950's and crappy decorative baskets filled with Christmas tree ornaments. I hate this place. I realize that Cracker Barrel is the church-goers number one choice, but let me assure you, I'd rather spend Sunday afternoon recieving a fatal dose of carbon monoxide poisoning. At least that's a "pleasant" way to go. The food at Cracker Barrel isn't good or bad, but rather, dumb and ignorant. They offer things like rhubarb pancakes and molasses oatmeal - what the fuck is that? I realize that they're trying to take advantage of the Southern hospitality niche, but I would encourage you to avoid ordering the hamhocks smothered in grits. This place makes me ill. If you look around, most of the patrons physically resemble John Ashcroft and the women look like Maude (both Flanders and Bea Arthur). Cracker Barrel sucks - if you choose to eat there, you are my enemy.
Anyway, here are some good chains -
Cheesecake Factory, Olive Garden, Outback & PF Changs
Here are some loathsome chains -
Shoney's (not quite sure if there's an apostrophe in that), Red Lobster (half the menu is disgusting - they actually had something on the menu called Lobster Mac & Cheese), and of course the absolute worst, the aforementioned Cracker Barrel.