Wednesday, March 02, 2005

chain restaurants

One might ask the inevitable question, "What about Bob Evans and Outback Steakhouse?" I know he has eaten there. I offer this explanation. It would be an exercise in futility to review the myriad of chain restaurants. Most are relatively decent, otherwise they'd not be able to survive. There is one glaring exception - the entity known as Cracker Barrel. What the fuck is this place? You walk in and there's some half-assed gift shop that sells grandma candy circa the early 1950's and crappy decorative baskets filled with Christmas tree ornaments. I hate this place. I realize that Cracker Barrel is the church-goers number one choice, but let me assure you, I'd rather spend Sunday afternoon recieving a fatal dose of carbon monoxide poisoning. At least that's a "pleasant" way to go. The food at Cracker Barrel isn't good or bad, but rather, dumb and ignorant. They offer things like rhubarb pancakes and molasses oatmeal - what the fuck is that? I realize that they're trying to take advantage of the Southern hospitality niche, but I would encourage you to avoid ordering the hamhocks smothered in grits. This place makes me ill. If you look around, most of the patrons physically resemble John Ashcroft and the women look like Maude (both Flanders and Bea Arthur). Cracker Barrel sucks - if you choose to eat there, you are my enemy.
Anyway, here are some good chains -
Cheesecake Factory, Olive Garden, Outback & PF Changs
Here are some loathsome chains -
Shoney's (not quite sure if there's an apostrophe in that), Red Lobster (half the menu is disgusting - they actually had something on the menu called Lobster Mac & Cheese), and of course the absolute worst, the aforementioned Cracker Barrel.

5 comments:

Ren said...

The Olive Garden Sucks. It's the Chi-Chi's of Italian food. Only people from the Ohio Valley still eat there. A woman on TV interviewed outside of Cabela's when asked what other businesses she would like to see developed near Cabela's said "Wal-Mart and Olive Garden". Macaroni Grill or Bucca de Beppo are better Italian restaurants.

TeamFerrara said...

Agreed... with the exception that Macaroni Grill is not much better or different than Olive Garden. I am not a big fan of their food. I do like the fact that Mac Grill is set in a huge room and allows you to draw with crayons on the place mats (what am I 7?)... I would love to throw a party there, as long as they are not serving the food.

sonofsaf said...

I like the Olive Garden. I was driving some people to a Steelers game this year and they said they had to piss. We were on 279N and options were limited. I told them I knew of a place - Olive Garden, right off the exit. They all gave rave reviews of the restrooms. I glanced in their direction and said "When you use the restrooms, you're family."
I am unfamiliar with the concept of teamferrara - I'm not sure I'm ready to go fully public with some of these selected rantings - I feel kind of like rebel cleric Muqtada Al-Sadr. Whatever happened to that guy anyway?
The Olive Garden does not suck - pleasant atmosphere, decent food, good price, adequate service, blah.
I only wish the woman outside Cabela's had said she hoped for a McDonalds and maybe a Jiffy Lube. Ren should not interfere with economic development.

G Max said...

I like Hooters. The waitresses have great big personalities. Good wings too.

macypup said...

My opinion of the Olive Garden is declining rapidly---I prefer Bravo located in the Galleria in South Hills, Robinson, or Waterfront in PA.

PF Changs rocks.