Wednesday, July 30, 2008

fuck da police

Monday night was the long anticipated arrival of The Police at Starlake. I think this concert was announced about 8 months ago so there would be sufficient time to cultivate a buzz. Trust me, they truly required the 240 day build-up. I zipped up with Heather and Jess and we met up with Justin/Jenn (celebrity name - Justezer or D-Rector, haven't decided) and Gary/Ashley (celebrity name Ashwell). We did some stealth tailgating and snagged a bunch of tickets - most for about 20 bucks which wasn't too bad. Face was $49 for lawn. Gary snagged two comp freebies from a radio station rep. The last time I saw that much exhiliration was when Dick Cheney shot his buddy in the face.
Let me preface my comments about The Police. I'm a huge fan. Always have been. This was one of the big shows I was looking forward to seeing all summer. I've seen Sting about ten times. He opened for the Dead during the summer of 1993 at all their stadium shows. So I saw him about 6 or 7 times and I saw him do a few solo shows, mostly of the Starlake variety. Anyway, about 10 years ago I was exiting the concert and having a discussion with a group near the car. I asked them if they enjoyed the concert and this one guy proclaims, "Sting is the patron saint of mediocrity." This line blew me away. Where did he come up with this? Turns out he was a writer for a local paper. I aksed him if he was going to use that phrase in his concert review and he replied negative. He liked the line but didn't think it would go over well with his readership. At the time, I was taken aback. I had thought it was a great concert and couldn't understand the negativity. Now, ten years later, I GET IT.
Let me first say, The Police sounded good (technically). You've got Stewart Copeland. One of the best drummers in the history of rock'n'roll. They're all respectable musicians and songwriters. But for the sake of Christ, they were totally uninspired. Totally just going through the motions. I suppose this could be inevitable since they all despise each other and were about 3 months into their tour. And their setlist was borderline abysmal. I honestly could have constructed a way better list. And Sting must be the most "humbly pompous" singer out there. The guy is beyond melodramatic. I can't stand the song Roxanne and I'm beginning to think he hates it too. I think he purposely drags out every syllable in a feeble attempt to mock and ridicule the crowd. It's just plain weird.
I'm sure everyone else who saw this show thought it was wonderful. They would be wrong. The "you've just been asked to exit the stage Price is Right music kicks in" - BUMP-BUMP-BAH-BOHM.
The highlight for me was leaving the parking lot. Flew right through the center, violently weaving through all the parked cars. When we finally needed to hit the main exit line, I got a perfectly timed assist from fellow limo driver Darryl in the White Top Lincoln. That made me feel a little better. Heather was kind enough to take shotgun and immediately passed out, so I had to strain my neck talking to Jess in the backseat for the 40 minute zip back home.
I think Public Enemy had it right all along - FUCK DA POLICE !

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