Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Last night was very unusual. I'm hanging with my neighbors and then head up to watch the movie Superbad (which was hysterical). Around 11pm I get a call from our mutual friend Kimmie. She sounds as though she's hyperventilating. "A tree has fallen through Becky's house. It went right through the roof. There was a fire but we put it out. You gotta get down here. Bring some wine. Everyone's freaking out." At first I thought she was playing a practical joke since we had been discussing tree issues earlier that day. Then I realize it's not a joke. I'm thinking - oh no, not again. A tree from a sliver of my property fell on their place last summer. AEP was there the entire day cutting down a bunch of trees. I figured the matter had been resolved. No fuckin' way.
I zip down and park my car. Jake is showing me the damage which was pretty bad. The tree took out their entire grill and patio. Part of the same tree went through their upstairs bathroom as well. A hunk of tree went crashing through their roof. There's a sizeable hole in their bathrrom wall and debris everywhere. The only fortunate thing is that the tree came from my one neighbor's property (not the asshole, the reclusive woman below). That made me feel a little relieved. Jake and I start walking up the street to inspect the downed tree and the accompanying damage. 10 seconds later we start to hear this loud cracking noise. I yell, "Let's get the fuck outta here." Jake responds, "Oh, that's nothing. What are you worrying about?" I start running down the hill as the second half of the tree comes crashing down. It fell straight across the driveway nearly taking out the precious gate of the asshole neighbor. It crushes the power line and sparks start flying. The power to the entire street (as well as National Road) goes out instantly. Jake and I are freaking out and discussing how we both almost got crushed by the tree. This thing is huge. Honestly, it was a matter of ten seconds or we both would have been pummelled into the pavement.
All the neighbors are outside and we start discussing the irony of the situation. How the tree almost killed us. How it didn't hit asshole's gate. How both my and Jake's car almost were crushed and neither of us have personal coverage. How I used to park right where the tree came crashing down until a couple weeks ago when my asshole neighbor put up a split rail fence to shunt my regular parking endeavors. It made for some unusual conversation.
Anyway, we adjourn to the porch, or if you prefer, poach. Eventually, I head back up to my place throuuh the cemetary. For some reason, the cemetary gate is closed, as if there weren't enough strange gate issues for the night. I just had to crash out. Anyway, I woke up around 4:30am when the power came back on. Oddly enough, Superbad is back on tv. That's some funny shit.


G Max said...

Did it happen to take out the asshole's split rail fence?

sonofsaf said...

Nope, the fence and gate were unscathed. His mailbox and pillar lights were crushed to bits. His "crew" repaired the mailbox early this morning.