Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Tasmanian Devil

Knowing my passion for license plates, my friend Ken generously offered to send me his old plate from Strahan, Tasmania. I was trying to conceive of an informational, artistic project for the house and came up with the following...

People often tell me, "Saf, I wish I could get as far away from you as possible." From now on I'll quickly fire back,
"Well, your destination is Tasmania! That's as far away as you can get. (brief pause)
I'm willing to cover 10% of your airfare."

Then I'll point to the wall in the hallway downstairs...
I'll have both license plates on display and charts directly below.
It will have a top 10 list of the differences between Wheeling and Tasmania so the male/female who voiced their contempt is better equipped to handle the life-altering transition.

For example, diners in Tasmania enjoy crayfish, salmon and orange roughy.
In Wheeling, well there's Coleman's, Long Johns and Filet-o-Fish.

In Tasmania, rafting the Franklin River will challenge even the most experienced adventurer.
Goin' down Big Wheeling Crick could fuck you up!

Tasmania boasts 17 exquisite, pristine beaches.
We got Barkcamp.

Charles Darwin visited Tasmania in 1839.
If Darwin were still alive today, he would have voted for Obama.

The Cataract Gorge is an impressive site near Launceston.
The Anwar Eye Center is located in Moundsville.

Tasmania's motto is "Ubertas et Fidelitas" meaning "Fertility and Faithfulness."
Wheeling's motto originated from the 19th Ho... "Ranch or Bleu"

A cool anagram for Tasmania is "I AM SATAN"
A weak anagram for Wheeling is "WHEEL GIN"

In Tasmania, popular beer brands include Boags & Cascade
In Wheeling, popular beer brands include Bud & Bud Light

The national mascot of Tasmania is the Tasmanian Devil.
The local mascot of Wheeling is Moondog.

The annual food and wine festival is called the "Taste of Tasmania."
We gots the annual Wheeling Chili Cook Off.

You can travel by water on the "Spirit of Tasmania"
Up until it sunk in 1995, you could get drunk at Captain Ed's Floating lounge.

I really need the precise year for the demise of Captain Ed's. Any help would be appreciated. Also, I need to eliminate one of the selections from the Top 10. Any responsible input is welcome.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think that Captain Ed's was a victim of the 2004 flood. When I was living in South Wheeling.