I know. I know. As usual, the Christian majority is aghast. Once again, the damn government wants to "take the Christ out of Christmas!" Look here. Look what they gone done. They won't let our congressman/woman send out a card that says "Have A Merry Christmas." This is political correctness gone awry. I've had it up to here. This is a Christian nation, damn it! I'm sick n'tard of all these nonbelievers imposing their will on the defenseless majority.
Alright, let's tear this shit apart. First, this is not a Christian nation. The "founding fathers" espoused a government, of the people, by the people, for the people. Back in the day, they went to great lengths to forgo the notion of some magical deity that commanded the populace like a marionette. There's a reason they made specific mention that it was "the people" who all politicians must inevitably answer to. Not some bearded, hovering grandfatherly figure.
But now it's gotten much worse. For god's sake, you can't even tell people to "have a happy holiday." What's the world coming to? This would actually imply that the government is endorsing any religion. What about those who don't celebrate the holidays. We mustn't offend the atheists and infidels. It could irreparably damage their sensibilities. We can't command them to embrace notions of seasonal joy. But just wishing people, "happy holidays"... well... I guess that's okay. Kind of like saying Happy Hump Day. Yeah, I get it.
But here's the real deal for all you arch conservative, anti big government right wing tea-baggers. Rather than bitching up a storm about this overreach of politically correct behavior, why not think about the issue from my perspective. If you take the blinders off, you'll find it coincides with your own view. Why on earth is the government footing the bill for holiday greeting cards on the tax-payer dime? Why are U.S. citizens forced to pay for this nonsense? Every Senator, every member of the House sends out this gibberish in order to ingratiate themselves with their constituency. Think about it. Not only does it offer an unfair advantage from a campaigning perspective, it's just in incredibly poor taste. Gaudy snowmen and horny mall store Santas, sandwiched betwixt frolicking elves - posing jubilantly amidst your extended family. Sickening.
And how about that appointed panel or commission established to make an official determination regarding exactly what particular message should be deemed offensive. This disgusts me more than the aftermath of a combined beer/wine/scotch/eggnog induced evening of revelry. Another waste of the tax dollar. That's right. I'm addressing you, you Rushtic Limbaughns? I'm talking to you, you overindulgent mangerial idiots who always think prayer is the answer. I've got some really bad news. Prayer does nothing. All that time and effort in vain. You could have been sewing an itchy, woolen baby blanket or making your traditional sausage, ham, bologna and bacon omelette. Instead, you went to church. Kudos.
My point - let's get rid of these imbecilic government holiday greeting cards altogether. Happy holidays, merry Christmas, abysmal kwanzaa, whatever... Dispose of all this nonsense. If a government official craves the desire to mandate dispensation of seasonal enjoyment, let them do it with their own money. I suggest everyone send their politician the following message. In my case it would go something like this...
Hey, Senator Rockefeller - take your greeting card and stick it up your ass.
Yo, James Manchin - why don't you go caroling with that Charleston pedophile mall store Santa?
Representative McKinley - On the 12th day of Christmas, my congressman gave to me... the gift of watching you engage in bestiality with the lead reindeer. In this case, I'm hoping for a genetically mutated manimal named Rudolph McKinley.
We're done here. Happy Hanukkah.