Thursday, June 21, 2012

cotton candy... room for improvement

I've never been a big fan of cotton candy.   Considering Mayor Bloomberg's recent crackdown on giant sodas (in West Virginia we call 'em pops), I'm surprised he hasn't tried to reign in the sugar-aeration industry.  Seriously though, why do people consume this shit?  Personally, I think the stuff looks like crooked boxing promoter Don King's up-do.

Think about it.

You're at a Buccos game.  It's hot and sticky, somewhere in the realm of 7800 degrees fahrenheit.  The 2005 American Idol winner "Daughtry" is about to serve up a late-night can of whoop ass to a rocking crowd of 2,004 fans who braved a Pirates 8-2 loss to the St. Louis Cardinals.  An elderly Zelienople grandmother casually picks her nose as she lectures a group of raucous teens about fan etiquette.  The faint smell of body odor stagnates next to a Joe the Plumber lookalike.  In the all-you-can-eat outfield section, a fat slob valiantly tries to text his buddy.  The auto-correct does a fairly decent job despite the rotundity of his forefinger.   All of a sudden, a roving concessionaire cries out "COTTON CANDY... HERE !!!!"  It's some new up'n'comer trying to follow in the footsteps of the recently deceased "lemonade guy."

This self-anointed "sugar daddy" hoists a wide palette of pink mayhem above his head.  Nearby children marvel at the deceptive feat of strength (Frank Costanza).  A 9 year old preteen wearing a t-shirt that reads "Princess Hottie" yells to her father, "Daddy... gimme money!  I want cotton candy.  It's pink.  LOL.  Ya know, for boobie cancer awareness month!"  The entire section lets out a collective laugh.  Her mom jubilantly addresses the audience, "Ohh Chantilly, you're such a ham!"  She blurts back, "Mommy, I thought we were kosher."  Yet again, the crowd submits to the spontaneous chicanery.  Praise the joy.

Enough.  So here's my point.  Why is cotton candy, once termed candy floss and even "fairy floss" by the Aussies, always the color pink?  It's merely a dye-infused option.  I realize the color pink visually grabs the consumer.  But why not design the cotton candy so it's consistent with the colors of the team?  In Pixburgh, yep you guessed it, it would be black and gold.  If your team's the Ravens, then yeah... it's purple.  If you're unfortunate enough to reside in Cleveland, it's brown.  If you're at the gay pride parade, it's all the magical colors of the rainbow.

I believe this idea has merit.

A.  It's a tremendous visual.

B.  It preys upon the douchebag who wraps their entire identity around the local sports team (the most susceptible, easiest pigeon next to compulsive/impulsive purse buying women).

C.  It's really easy.  Just change the color of the dye.

D.  Conceptually, it's the pure essence of what just about every dumbshit perceives as "fun" or a "good time."  We bought the cotton candy, because we were having a great time.  We had so much fun.

E.  Great profit margin.  Isn't that crap usually about 5 bucks for some puffy caloric-infused air on an old paper towel roll?

So there you have it.  Off the heels of A.G.S. prevention, yet another attempt to help change the world and make it a better place.  If you steal my idea, that's fine.  Just call it sonofsugar, sonofsucrose or something comparable.


Anonymous said...

My programmer is trying to convince me to move to .net from
PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses.
But he's tryiong none the less. I've been using Movable-type on
a number of websites for about a year and am nervous
about switching to another platform. I have heard fantastic things about blogengine.
net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it?
Any kind of help would be really appreciated!
Also see my site - Mic / Microphone

Anonymous said...

I think what you typed made a bunch of sense. However, what about this?
suppose you were to create a awesome title? I am not saying
your content is not good., but what if you added a post title
that makes people want more? I mean "cotton candy... room for improvement" is kinda vanilla.
You should look at Yahoo's front page and note how they create news headlines to grab viewers to click. You might add a video or a picture or two to grab people interested about what you've got to say.
In my opinion, it could bring your blog a little bit more interesting.
My web-site :: Las Vegas

sonofsaf said...

Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate the suggestion but I normally take an approach based on "content" instead of "pizazz."

Anonymous said...

Very quickly this website will be famous amid all blog users,
due to it's good articles
Also visit my webpage - Deborah Koval

Anonymous said...

I will immediately take hold of your rss as I can't find your email subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Please let me know in order that I may subscribe. Thanks.
My blog post :: Big adult dating chat site

Anonymous said...

Great delivery. Solid arguments. Keep up the good work.
My web-site :: Business Plan Resources

Anonymous said...

Malaysia & Singapore & brunei ultimate on-line blogshop for wholesale & supply korean accessories,
earrings, earstuds, choker, rings, hair, bracelet & bracelet accessories.
Promotion 35 % wholesale price cut. Ship Worldwide
Here is my blog :: Singapore necklace blogshop

Anonymous said...

Malaysia & Singapore & brunei ultimate on the internet blogshop for wholesale & supply korean accessories, earrings, earstuds, pendant, rings, bangle, hair & trinket accessories.
Deal 35 % wholesale rebate. Ship Worldwide
Also visit my site ...

Anonymous said...

Having read this I thought it was rather enlightening.

I appreciate you taking the time and energy to put this information together.
I once again find myself personally spending way too much
time both reading and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worthwhile!
Also visit my page ; weight lifting

Anonymous said...

I read this post completely about the difference of most recent and preceding technologies,
it's awesome article.
Check out my webpage ; neucopia compensation plan

Anonymous said...

I really like looking through a post that will make people think.

Also, many thanks for permitting me to comment!
Look into my blog :: Poker

Anonymous said...

I was curious if you ever considered changing the page layout of your blog?
Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe
you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better.
Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or 2 images.

Maybe you could space it out better?

Also visit my homepage: hottest smoking aids available

Anonymous said...

Fantastic blog! Do you have any recommendations for aspiring writers?
I'm hoping to start my own site soon but I'm a little lost on everything.
Would you propose starting with a free platform like Wordpress or go for
a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I'm totally confused .. Any recommendations? Many thanks!

Also visit my blog post :: stop smoking without drugs

Anonymous said...

Howdy I am so happy I found your website, I really
found you by accident, while I was searching on Bing for something else, Nonetheless I am here
now and would just like to say thank you for a tremendous post and
a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I don't have time to browse it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the excellent job.

Also visit my page :: online casino

Anonymous said...

Wonderful, what a webpage it is! This weblog presents helpful data to us, keep it

Here is my weblog ... dnest CDL

Anonymous said...

My brother recommended I might like this blog.

He was entirely right. This submit actually made my day.
You cann't imagine simply how so much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

Check out my homepage ... Producer

Anonymous said...

Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog
and I am impressed! Very helpful info particularly the
last part :) I care for such info much. I was looking for
this particular information for a long time. Thank you and good luck.

Look into my blog post perfumes

Anonymous said...

Every weekend i used to go to see this website, because i want enjoyment,
for the reason that this this web site conations in fact good funny material

Here is my homepage: Www.Cuteteenporn.Net