Remember, these aren't one-liners. They're adaptations... so you have to give me some "bloggetic" latitude.
1) Cedar Point and Sandusky have one thing in common: they both treat their bodies like an amusement park. (masturbation episode)
2) (referencing his testicles) They're real, and they're spectacular! (Salman Rushdie episode)
3) "Nobody sodomizes like me. Nobody. I'm doing things in this locker room... you have no idea what's going on." (George Costanza in the parking spot dispute episode. He's talking to Elaine while they're driving back from the flea market... explaining his phenomenal driving skills).
4) "Jerry (Sandusky), just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it." (lie detector episode)
5) "I don't trust the guy. I think he molested, then he remolested, and now he's using a charitable organization as a springboard to a Happy Valley sex romp." (Superbowl/ baby label maker jr. episode).
6) You very bad man, Jerry. Very bad man. - (Pakistani deportation episode w/ Babu)
I'll come up with another 4 and finish it up later. The convenient alliteration (Jerry Seinfeld/Jerry Sandusky) really helps the cause. And yeah, I know... it's in horribly bad taste. I might alter the format. Say... "Jerry Sandusky to stand trial, not Jerry Seinfeld. Confusion persists."