Saturday, November 09, 2013

ginger leprechaun mascot (Notre Dame vs. Pitt)

With regard to NFL and NCAA football, I often find myself in a moral quandary.  Tonight's a good example.  There will be two games of regional interest.

It all comes down to a simple question.  Is it better to cheer for West Virginia or root against Notre Dame?  Your answer awaits.

The Texas Longhorns come to Mountaineer Field for a 7pm game televised on one of the Fox networks.  Rather than identify their channels as Fox News, Fox Sports 1, Fox Sports West, etc., I would suggest assigning them all names associated with bodily fluids and fecal matter --- Fox Piss, Fox Sports Shit, Fox News Vomit.  This would be a positive step in the right direction.

Gig and I are heading to the other big game.  Notre Dame at Pittsburgh.  I just read that it's a total sell-out, standing room only.  Fuck!  We are ticketless.  How will we ever obtain entry?  I suppose we'll have to step up our game by a fraction of less than 1%.  Regardless, her friends are having a monster tailgate within a cunt hair of Gate B.  This means one thing and one thing only --- dinner is served.

The game is at 8pm, nationally televised on ABC.  So a sign is definitely in order.  If you know me, you're well aware that my most hated college football team is the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame.  I can't really put my finger on it.  It's either that biblical Touchdown Jesus reference, the obnoxious sense of "warped entitlement" among the fans, the snobbish, prep-driven fan base or the fact that every year they go 6-6 and seem destined for a top-tier bowl game.  Also, the faggot leprechaun.

The Pitt Panthers really aren't THAT objectionable.  They remind me of the Cleveland Browns.  Does anyone truly hate the Browns these days?  I think not.  That's why the term "factory of sadness" was such a big hit.  Nobody cares too much as to take offense.

I used to dislike Pitt.  Now I kind of "pity" them.  I have an ample amount of pity for Pitt.  I find Pitt to be most pitiable.  It would make a decent theme for a future sign, but tonight I will go with this one instead. 

I like this sign because it provides historical and personal context.  More importantly, it also inspires people to think about their own perspective.  In my world, it's not enough to root for a particular sports franchise.  I'd prefer it far more if people adopted an antagonistic approach.  From time to time, you'll hear from these socially unfit miscreants who root for injuries across the board.  These people make me feel a little uncomfortable.  The only thing worse is the fantasy football assholes who painfully invoke the name of everyone on their roster.  Hey, I like Billy Cuntiff (K) just as much as the next guy.  But there comes a time when you need to draw a clear line in the sand. 

Think about it.  When the Dallas Cowboys play the Cincinnati Bengals, how should one react?  When the Bills play the Ravens, what are you physically supposed to do?  Who the hell do you root for when there can be no beneficial outcome?  This situation surfaces in other sports too.  Flyers vs. Capitals - seriously, what the fuck is that?  

As always, I have a point.  And here it is...

I would enjoy the games far more if fans with no personal stake or emotional involvement chose to express negative sentiment.  Rather than abstaining or cheering for a particular team, why not approach it from the opposite perspective.  I'd much rather witness the seething acrimony and unrestrained vitriol.
  • It's more intriguing.
  • It's more provocative.
  • It's more judgmental
And you know what, it's also more in keeping with our unique social topography.
An excerpt from my Chapter 8 of my book...

On August 22, 1998, Question Reality and I went to a Steelers/Falcons game at Mountaineer Field.  He looked at me and said, "It'll be interesting to watch what happens when the two greatest tailgating scenes collide."  I nodded in agreement.  Perhaps as a diehard Steelers and Mountaineers fan, I'm a tad biased.  I know, I know, it was just a preseason game.  But still, it seemed to represent something larger in scope.  Professional vs. college, yinzers vs. hillbillies, a variation of the backyard brawl.  Keep your friends close, your enemies closer I suppose.  It's an apt assessment for Northern West Virginia and Southwestern Pennsylvania.  In our region, sports reigns supreme.  You might be familiar with the five basic needs of man.  Around here it's six.  The pecking order is as follows...  Food/water, shelter, sports, sex, clothing, education. 

Most fans seem to evaluate their enjoyment of stadium sporting events based on wins or losses.  Your team wins, everyone celebrates.  Your team loses, you witness varying degrees of despondency.  But what if a circumstance arises where everyone loses?  Do not casually dismiss this.  It's just another potential outcome.

"In the days of the Colosseum, the games were held below.  I fear the moment in time when the games are held above, when the fans become the players, when the spectators become the combatants."
- sonofsaf

Anyhoo, look for me on television.  I'll be holding the sign.  Unless of course, it gets confiscated by the "Collegiate TSA."  They're a new breed of "assholic security" that's a bit more prominent at the nationally televised night games.  Hopefully I don't end up getting raped, sodomized and probed somewhere deep in the bowels of Heinz Field.

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