Tuesday, January 14, 2014

AFC/NFC Championship Games

An excerpt from my blog last week...

So here's my take ---

Wildcard round is for upsets.  Divisional round is for favorites.  Championship games are for drama.

And the Super Bowl... is for posers.

I'll even predict the lines for the AFC/NFC title games:

San Francisco at Seattle (-3.5)

New England at Denver (-7)

Totally nailed the NFC line.  I knew there'd be a half point hook.  And guess what, the AFC title game opened at Denver -6.5.  It has since dropped to -4.5.  Probably because Brady has historically owned Manning and the Denver defense is pretty banged up.

Both games should be decent.  I think the upset will be San Francisco.  They just seem to have the "destiny" tag this year

I think all those injuries finally expose the Patriots.  Belichick will have plenty of tricks up his sleeve, but at some point, you need those veteran players in the big game.  Especially when it's on the road.  Unless Manning has a complete collapse and throws 2 or more interceptions, I think Denver will outlast them.

Score Predictions:

49ers - 20
Seahawks - 17

Broncos - 31
Patriots - 23 

Anyhoo, I'm having people up for the games.  I haven't had a legitimate gathering of the mongrel hoard in over a year.  3 pm onward.  This year's theme - Takin' it to the streets, McDonald style.  Pink slimin', happy meal eatin', playground pissin', catsup spillin', mother fuckin', sayin' Thank You... For a real good time.

I was thinking about the ongoing Chris Christie debacle.  And now, they're investigating the misuse of Hurricane Sandy relief funds.  Moral of the story - I think Christie is fucked.  I have to wonder if this hatchet job has all been a carefully orchestrated by the Hillary Clinton team.  After all, he is one of the few viable candidates who could challenge her ascension to the presidency.  Hey... there's no law against decimating your opponent before he/she officially throws their hat in the ring.

 I was going to write a Chris Christie strategy for overcoming this whole mess, but I don't think it would do him any good.  My only piece of advice would be to make every effort to rename, or "rebrand" the current bridge scandal.  Rather than, Bridgegate or the New Jersey Bridge Scandal or the Chris Christie Bridge Scandal ---- you need to get the press (in this case, Fox News) to start calling it the "George Washington Bridge Scandal."

Most people have a favorable impression of George Washington.  They tend not to view our heroic first president in a negative light.  So by the time 2016 rolls around, there wouldn't be as bad a stigma.  Shit... American voters can't remember stuff that happened two years ago, let alone two weeks ago.  Despite his slave owning, hemp growing, wig wearing shenanigans, pretty much everyone loves George Washington.  His name combined with the perception of scandal just doesn't hold water.

But that's really all I got.  Well that... and you desperately need to change the narrative.  Your best hope is for a national disaster or some other crisis that alters the prevailing mission of the media.  Maybe you could somehow get a towering Dennis Rodman to spontaneously vomit on Kim Jong Un or get a jailhouse Jerry Sandusky to sodomize a younger inmate.  It's a tough one.  Christie needs a distraction.  Something will inevitably come along, but by then, it will probably be too little, too late.

And to be honest, Christie lacks the temperament and gravitas to be our next president.  He's just not "there."  Too bad - I was looking forward to see him fend off pro-life, anti-gay rhetoric in the primary debates.  Talk about free, high-end entertainment!

And how could you not love that Rand Paul comment?

 “I know how angry I am when I’m in traffic.  I wonder, who did this to me?"

Now there's a classic!  Who did this to me?  Well, of course!  Who among us, when stuck in traffic, does not seek out specific individuals to cast blame upon? 

Funny aside, I was in a traffic jam just a couple weeks ago.  I went to a party at Danno and Jean-Anne's and got stuck in that putrid Festival of Lights Oglebay Park Christmas bullshit.  So Saffy, who did you blame?  Naturally, I went straight to the source - I placed the blame squarely on baby Jesus.  Without his death or rebirth or reaffirmation or regurgitation or whatever, it would have been smooth sailing (or in this case, driving).


sonofsaf said...

One more thought on the Sunday games. Chew on this - the 49ers open a brand new stadium in Santa Clara, CA next season. Incidentally, this stadium is completely bad ass. The NFL will be looking to showcase this venue for the Thursday night, 2014 regular season kickoff.

What better a way for that scenario to unfold than for the 49ers to win it all? And while I'm not one of those imbeciles who says, "Ohhh, it's all fixed" - I'm also not one of those naive morons who doesn't think the NFL manipulates the "way of things" to their advantage.

So even though I don't gamble, my money's on the 49ers to win it all this year. The Superbowl tends to be high scoring so let's go with...

49ers 34
Broncos 28

Anonymous said...

I'm LOVIN it!!!
You changed your final?
I thought you had Denver and Seahawks.
Go SeaBirds!!!!

sonofsaf said...

I know. I'm jumping on the 49er gold rush bandwagon. They just seem like the hot team. Tough defense - built for dominating in tough conditions.

In a weird way, I think it would be fitting if they won the Superbowl. Another wildcard team to win 3 straight on the road. Sound familiar? (Steelers in 2006).

Anonymous said...

Brady is gonna winning another.