#159. Gaga

OK, lemme see if I got this straight.

This professional dog walker in Los Angeles is hard at work while Lady Gaga's in Italy.  Ryan Fischer is walking her three beloved French Bulldogs --- Koji, Gustav, and Bologna.  A car suddenly pulls up.  Out jumps this dog thief and shoots Fischer multiple times.  Fischer goes down.  As Fischer cradles Oscar Meyer or whatever in a pool of blood, the dog napper assassin dude and the getaway driver sped away with Koji and Gustav.

Gaga instantly offers a half million dollar reward.  The following day, an "unidentified woman" shows up at an LAPD station and drops off the two dogs.  Gaga celebrates being reunited with her canine family.

Meanwhile, her dog walker remains hospitalized.  

Not sure if he has health insurance or garners some form of hazard pay.  Doubtful.

The investigation is ongoing.

Am I missing something here?  I hate to tell the police how to do their job.  But wouldn't the mystery woman have a direct connection to the people who are guilty of attempted murder?  Was any of the half million reward distributed?  And if it was, how was the money delivered?  Check, cash, paypal, bitcoin, Visa Gold, Titanium Mastercard, Zinc Platinum American Express?   Again, maybe it's me, but something just seems a tad askew.

Gaga
sonofsaf

A half million’s a lotta money
With your dogs wanted dead or alive
They were shooting and stealing it ain’t wrong
Get in the bye bye car we ride

Gaga, you best be paying fees
Gaga, they won’t get on their knees
Gaga, takin’ those French Bulldogs ain’t a crime

The world is an infestation
You shoulda checked the lost and found
If you knew, ‘bout rackets of the Jews
Next time you’ll go to the dog pound

Gaga, you best be paying fees
Gaga, they won’t get on their knees
Gaga, takin’ those French Bulldogs ain’t a crime

We ain’t got no time for the masturbation
We’re just tryin’ to make it rain
Nothing personal, it’s just a game we play
Dog walker’s blood was not in vain

Gaga, you best be paying fees
Gaga, they won’t get on their knees
Gaga, takin’ those French Bulldogs ain’t a crime

Gaga, you best be paying fees
Gaga, they won’t get on their knees
Gaga, takin’ those French Bulldogs ain’t a crime

Layla
Eric Clapton

What'll you do when you get lonely
And nobody's waiting by your side?
You've been running and hiding much too long
You know it's just your foolish pride

Layla, you've got me on my knees
Layla, I'm begging, darling please
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind

I tried to give you consolation
When your old man had let you down
Like a fool, I fell in love with you
Turned my whole world upside down

Layla, you've got me on my knees
Layla, I'm begging, darling please
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind

Let's make the best of the situation
Before I finally go insane
Please don't say I'll never find a way
And tell me all my love's in vain

Layla, you've got me on my knees
Layla, I'm begging, darling please
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind

Layla, you've got me on my knees
Layla, I'm begging, darling please
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind

 

I never knew that "Layla" was a Clapton cover.  Yep, Derek and the Dominos.  And while everyone knows my affection for derivations of the word "domino," those guys were a little before my time.

Eric Clapton:

4-6-13, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this information with Lady Gaga, Ryan Fischer, and/or anyone who owns multiple French Bulldogs.