Wow, what a day! I was scheduled to get the vaccine. Moderna Love, Pfizer Roll, Howard Johnson's & Johnson's... didn't matter to me. But then I got rope-a-doped into Ohio State vs Anal Slobbers. And the righteous team pulled it out in OT! Fuck the NCAA! I say, bring back the PMRC!
 |
| (Oral Robert's son was arrested in 2012. His crime? He preferred anal.) |
So despite the fact that I took the Fighting Illini to win March Madness, I will now officially be rooting for Oral Roberts University. And not only that, I shalt be praying for them as well.
Their virgin cheerleaders should sing the song... O, O, O, Oh Oral. Just like in the Ozempic commercial.
As for the championship game, I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. As far as I'm concerned, this is a basketball resurrection. So you gotta be on your hands and knees praying for a Liberty vs. Oral Roberts semifinal (the bible belt of the South vs. the buckle belt of the Midwest). Such a climactic event would immediately become known as the ultimate referendum on sodomy. Freedom vs. Anal, Anal vs. Oral, Oral vs. Menstrual. Ass vs. Mouth. Regardless of the hype, it would definitely be a semi-final showdown for the ages.
sonofsaf
Ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah-ah
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah-ah
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Few whites, lit litty
Bad music (in your town)
Not right and tragic
All the sheeple (buzzer sounds)
Ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah-ah
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Smack trash, bracket fan
Sergeants in Afghanistan
Squiggy, Lenny and LS
Busted bracket, makes you wanna die
I will make you woof the barker of a dog
You’re gonna die
A big decision course to crack your skull apart
This is hardcore, This is hardcore, This hardcore
Bracket yeah
I will fight shed blood
Bracket yeah
I will fight shed blood
Bracket yeah
I will fight shed blood
Bracket baby! C'mon
You know that I will fight shed blood
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah-ah
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah-ah
Bud Light agnostic
Share the jism (all the cum)
Martyr, dumb
Not much, fun!
Ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah-ah
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Smoke crack, Cardi B
Mean Meanie, Saferstein
Never busy, exit box
So c'mon, you’re all gonna die
I will make you woof the barker of a dog
You’re gonna die
A big decision course to crack your skull apart
This is hardcore, This is hardcore, This hardcore
Bracket yeah
I will fight shed blood
Bracket yeah
I will fight shed blood
Bracket yeah
I will fight shed blood
Bracket baby! C'mon
You’re gonna die
Oh, oh, oh, oh
(Countdown commencing...fire one)
(Five, four, three, two, one, zero, we have liftoff)
You are gonna die
I will make you woof the barker of a dog
You’re gonna die
A big decision course to crack your skull apart
This is hardcore, This is hardcore, This hardcore
Bracket yeah
I will fight shed blood
Bracket yeah
I will fight shed blood
Bracket yeah
I will fight shed blood
Martyr, dumb, fucked up
You’re gonna die
Bracket, yeah
I will fight shed blood
You’re gonna die
Bracket, yeah
Yeah
I will fight shed blood
Bracket, yeah
Rocket
Def Leppard
Ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah-ah
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah-ah
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh
White lights, strange city
Mad music (All around)
Midnight street magic
Crazy people (Crazy sound)
Ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah-ah
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Jack Flash, rocket man
Sergeant Pepper and the band
Ziggy, Benny and the Jets
Take a rocket, we just gotta fly
I can take you thru the center of the dark
We're gonna fly
On a collision course to crash into my heart
I will be your, I will be your, I'll be your
Rocket yeah
Satellite of love
Rocket yeah
Satellite of love
Rocket yeah
Satellite of love
Rocket baby! C'mon
I'll be your satellite of love
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah-ah
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah-ah
Spotlight magnetic
Raise the rhythm (Laser love)
Guitar, drums
Load up, stun!
Ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah-ah
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Jet Black, Johnny B
Gene Jeanie, Killer Queen
Dizzy Lizzy, Major Tom
So c'mon, we just gotta fly
I can take you thru the center of the dark
We're gonna fly
On a collision course to crash into my heart
I will be your, I will be your, I'll be your
Rocket yeah
Satellite of love
Rocket yeah
Satellite of love
Rocket yeah
Satellite of love
Rocket baby! C'mon
We're gonna fly
Oh, oh, oh, oh
(Countdown commencing...fire one)
(Five, four, three, two, one, zero, we have liftoff)
We just gotta fly
I can take you thru the center of the dark
We're gonna fly
On a collision course to crash into my heart
I will be your, I will be your, I'll be your
Rocket, yeah
Satellite of love
Rocket, yeah
Satellite of love
Rocket, yeah
Satellite of love
Guitar, drums, light up
We're gonna fly
Rocket, yeah
Satellite of love
We're gonna fly
Rocket, yeah
Yeah
Satellite of love
Rocket, yeah
Def Leppard:
8-6-88, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Newark, OH
8-12-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
7-10-09, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
8-24-14, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
7-8-16, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
Please do not share this information with anyone who posts "my bracket just got busted" on social media. One of my biggest pet peeves this time of year. And yeah, Buckeye fans, I'm talkin' to you.
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