And my father's birthday is today... so I had to write him a poem. But the real spotlight will be on my middle brother. So I wrote this one for the both of them. As usual, most of it's inside family humor.
So in our nation's capitol, I give you this poem
Five of sit, here at this table
Let me tell you a story, I assure you I'm able
My father is a wise man, he's unlikely to commit perjury
Even if sedated and coming off knee surgery
But this birthday poem's not really about him, which could be a source of contention
It's mostly about his son's case, which merits our attention
He's the reason we're here. He wrote the fucking brief.
He's the brains of this trial. The Commander in Chief.
But mom laid the groundwork, with inspiration and dedication
When she sued that asshole Marockie and the Board of Education
Now your youngest son's the wildcard, I'm sure you'll voluntarily cede
All he wants to talk about is this artificially generated stampede
And you finally get to meet my lovely girlfriend, her name is Georgiann
The more you get to know her, I'm sure you'll become a fan
Standing before the ultimate judiciary, isn't for cowards
Even when the case is a slam dunk, like Reichle vs. Howards
I cannot fathom a hostile act, that is any bolder
Than touching the vice president, directly on the shoulder
And he even had the audacity, to engage in a verbal attack
When he questioned his policies, regarding the war in Iraq
And just where is Dick Cheney? Why didn't he show up for the case?
Perhaps he's off quail hunting, shooting another friend in the face
But if there is one thing, that I truly detest
It's someone who bitches, about retaliatory arrest
Our highest court has historically sided with the Secret Service
But this case begs the question, are they truly impervious
In a world filled with instability and disunity
Can Secret Service agents act with absolute impunity
In the Supreme court, this case has just been tried
I suspect they'll agree, their immunity is qualified
But an 8 to zero ruling, could still leave you confused.
Why not 9 to zero? Elena Kagan was recused.
But what nobody ever knew, was that Bennett would do anything he can
For if the outlook grew dim, he had a secret, master plan
In the game of golf, we call it taking a mulligan
He'd whip out his ukulele and perform Gilbert and Sullivan
It would be most unorthodox, kind of like a courtroom Aliyah
Just one last ditch attempt, to curry favor with Scalia