Monday, March 19, 2012

Vicious jab - label him "Offshore Mitt"

Here's a good attack line for Santorum.  Mitt Romney has handily won all these quasi-U.S.-inhabited offshore regions that vote for the president but really don't count for shit.   American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Marianas, the Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico. 

On the cusp of these victories, Santorum should start referring to his opponent as "Offshore Mitt."

Brutal word association.  The press would eat it up.  Has a killer, definable, lasting ring to it.

A.  It invokes the subliminal message that he's not interested in the continental U.S.  He's not concerned with the average Joe.  That's really shitty for the already-existing elitist perception.  It would play horribly in all the swing states, particularly the rust belt.

B.  It gives the impression that he has money tucked away in offshore/Caribbean island accounts (Barbados, the Cayman Islands, Antigua, etc.).   Typical American lumps all of Central America in a Jamaican subcontext.  We will not be jammin'  -  Illegal gambling + Mormonism = does not compute.

C.  And it also plunks down the subliminal message, "Offshore Mitt???  That son-of-a-bitch must be shipping jobs overseas!"  Not a good message for a self-professed venture capitalist guru.  Hey, he's finally come to terms emotionally with his $300 mil. net worth.  Hey, he's at peace with his inner demons.  Kudos.

D. The notion of labeling him "offshore" might conjure up this strange, psychological sub-narrative.   Images that he's "not all there mentally."  What if he just "loses it" aka Sarah Palin in the Game Change movie?  She grew somewhat stoic.
When asked if Mitt's mentally stable... just reference the dog on the roof story.  Trust me, this Romney Lampoon's Mormon Vacation story with the family dog strapped to the roof has legs... 4 LEGS that is!  Didn't the dog have some weird biblical/elitist name?  Was it "Sir Lot?"  (not sir-mix-a-lot... I'm talking about the city of Lot > fire, brimstone, cast out the sodomites, etc.).  Seriously, get PETA involved.   Makes for a killer bumper sticker or slogan... "I'm Mitt Romney's Dog and I approve of this message."

Rule #1 of politics.  Turn your opponent's greatest strength (in Mitt's case it's $$$ and he's kind of a Republican Al Gore) against him.  Use his Island Paradise-Jimmy Buffetted-cheeseburger victories to destroy him. 

sonofsafMitt Romney will rue the day he won the "former territory of Afa the Samoa" caucus. 
That's gold Jerry, pure gold!" (Kenny Bania on Seinfeld).

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