Monday, August 23, 2010

burn it all...

I'm thinking about resurrecting my annual post-labor day party. Friday, Sept. 10 would be a good day for it. There's a nationally televised WVU vs. Marshall game. I'm assuming they'll trounce, or at least be victorious over the stiff competition from the opener (Coastal Carolina). Where the fuck do they find these teams? I've heard of North, South, East and even West Carolina. For the record, I'm aware they're called Western Carolina. But Coastal??? Who the fuck are they? If they lose by a wide margin, does Coastal go postal?

In any event, there a pastor of some dumbshit church in Florida who seems pretty serious about having a national "burn the Quran" day. Hey, what a great way to honor the victims of 9/11. Yes! We will scorch the holy texts of the infidels! That'll show 'em we mean business. More importantly, now the whole world will witness our defiance. They'll see a good 'ol fashioned book burning! Only in the northern panhandle of Florida (and possibly central Mississippi and Eastern Alabama) could you make up this drivel.

Well, I won't be attending that event. However, feel free to bring the religious text of your choice to my party. We'll burn 'em all. Torah, Old Testament, New Testament, Talmud, Dead Sea Scrolls, Book of Psalms... Doesn't matter me to me. I'm an equal opportunity loather of all the worlds' "great" religions. Bring pictures of your God(s). Any will do. They all seem the same to me. God of sun, god of moon, god of pepper, god of salt, book of mormon, book-mobile, lord of hosts, dark lord of the underworld, holy ghost, Casper the friendly ghost, goblin of hate, eye of newt (Gingrich), wing of bat, whatever the fuck you want. Just make sure it has some kind of heavenly or demonic connotation.

We'll throw it all in the fire. Maybe once and for all, we can make strides in renouncing all this religious silliness. I know. I know. Saf, why are you being so offensive? My faith is very important to me. Correction - your superstitions are very important to you.

Regardless, consider this your invite. Sounds inviting, doesn't it!

Friday, September 10
maybe follow it up with a 19th Ho. I don't mind if people leave. Gotta leave sometime, right? Unless your blocked in of course. And you will be blocked in... Wouldn't it be crazy if someone had a medical emergency and we couldn't get them to the hospital because everyone parked five or six cars deep?
Foosball, dome, byob, Go Mountaineers.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I worship The Cross of Purity and all things cork. Burn it all!