#728. Wilkinsburg

This parody goes out to all those "last call" homosexual men seeking to hook up in a small town gay bar.  It's entitled Wilkinsburg.  I specifically chose Wilkinsburg because I like the "we'll kill yinz burg" narrative.  But feel free to substitute the name of any 3 syllable community.  Steubenville, Wintersville, Follansbee, Shadyside, Washington, and so on and so forth.

Of course, Vito was spotted at a fag bar in Brooklyn with a substantially larger population.  But you get the gist of it.

 

 

Wilkinsburg
sonofsaf

Wilkinsburg
Gimme anal whores not interested in single girls
Wilkinsburg
Homosexual con using dildo toys in every whole
Wilkiinsburg
Looking for a sack of balls so let’s get LGBT queer
Wilkinsburg
Your hairy ass my home keep that asshole near

I know that he wants to suck my bone
I know that he wants to suck my bone
I know that he wants to suck my bone
Suck my bone

Wilkinsburg
A faggot so devout the faces you make when you cum
Wilkinsburg
Spread your ass wide open stick another cock inside to cum
Just tell me you’re a faggot, asshole is an entrance
All about cock in the end
Wilkinsburg
Cock is the beginning and so’s the sperm that ye shall defend

I know that he wants to suck my bone
I know that he wants to suck my bone
I know that he wants to suck my bone
Suck my bone

Wilkinsburg
A faggot so devout the faces you make when you cum

[2x]
I know that he wants to suck my bone
I know that he wants to suck my bone
I know that he wants to suck my bone
Suck my bone

Wilkinsburg
Cock is the beginning and so’s the sperm that ye shall defend

Closing Time
Semisonic

Closing time
Open all the doors and let you out into the world
Closing time
Turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl
Closing time
One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer
Closing time
You don't have to go home but you can't stay here

I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home

Closing time
Time for you to go out to the places you will be from
Closing time
This room won't be open 'til your brothers or your sisters come
So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits
I hope you have found a friend
Closing time
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home

Closing time
Time for you to go out to the places you will be from

[2x]
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take me home

Closing time
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

 

Damn, I really can't stand this song.

Semisonic once came to Pittsburgh (Star Lake in Burgettstown) along with Matchbox Twenty and Soul Asylum back in the summer of 1998.  Dear god, may the lord take me now.

Please do not share this material with single gay men who frequent gay bars in small towns.