#771. It's A Butterball

Last week, Butterball recalled over 14,000 pounds of ground turkey.  Trichinosis concerns?  Uh no.

The meat was contaminated with "extraneous material."  Specifically, particles of blue plastic. 

 

Butterball
sonofsaf

Kosher’s in store for a god damn Jew
A rabbi blessed turkey
Those meaty thighs I’m a saltin’ for you
So you better bake and see
Well it's a Butterball
That turkey is dead
Plump just like my wife
Don’t you deep fry a recall’s why
Phil Collins is so wh-i-te

People should care ‘bout Thanksgiving din
This manigot’s* for you
A sickness just like critical race
Food poisonin’s up in you
Gimme that beer Pabst Blue Ribbon
Cause stuffin’ you is the plan
Give a shout to the sauerkraut
Fell asleep cause of tryptophan
It's a Butterball

Ooh, baby
Yeah, it's a Butterball

Don’t you know mashed potatoes, are indeed the color white
Gotta big ‘ol gunt and wide ‘ol cunt
Fuckin’ you with all of my might
My cannonballs are always on call
They’re shaved devoid of hair
Suck my bone when we’re all alone
Oh eat it without a care
It's a Butterball

Ooh, baby
Yeah, it's a Butterball

Kosher’s in store for a god damn Jew
A rabbi blessed turkey
Those meaty thighs I’m a saltin’ for you
So you better bake and see
Well it's a Butterball
That turkey is dead
Plump just like my wife
Don’t you deep fry a recall’s why
Phil Collins is so white
It's a Butterball

Look, baby
It's a Butterball

 

Free-For-All
Ted Nugent

Never before have I turned on you
Ya look too good to me
Your beady eyes nearly cut me into
And I just can't let ya be
Well it's a free-for-all
And I heard it said
You can bet your life
The stakes are high and so am I
It's in the air toni-i-ight

I see you there with your Cheshire grin
I got my eyes on you
Ya shake your tail feathers in my face
No telling what I might do
Well looking here ya sweet young thing
Cause the magic's in my hands
When in doubt I whip it out
I got me a rock and roll band
It's a free-for-all

Ooh, baby
Yeah, it's a free-for-all

Here we go look out below, I'm on the prowl tonight
When it's said and done I'll have my fun
I can chew anything I bite
Come one, come all to the midnight ball
Your invitation's there
Come alone and I'll drive ya home
Oh help me I do declare
It's a free-for-all

Ooh, baby
Yeah, it's a free-for-all

Never before have I turned on you
Ya look too good to me
Your beady eyes nearly cut me into
And I just can't let ya be
Well it's a free-for-all
And I heard it said
You can bet your life
The stakes are high and so am I
It's in the air tonight
It's a free-for-all

Look, baby
It's a free-for-all

 

Since way back in 1971, Ted Nugent has played the Burgh a grand total of 30 times.  Impressive.  So the question is... have I ever seen the wango tango right wing gun nut wacko play live.  And the answer is... yeah.  I think I saw him open for Skynyrd or Aerosmith or something of that ilk.  He obviously didn't make much of an impression.  Although I did like his stint on Miami Vice.

* - Probably the best Sopranos compilation on youtube.  The "manigot" reference comes at the 3:42 mark.

Please do not share this material with Ted Nugent and/or anyone affiliated Butterball LLC.