#1995. Meet John Cornyn

John Cornyn (R-TX) was reportedly seen "excessively salivating" outside the Hart Senate Office Building.

Cornyn thinks he's riding shotgun on the Mitch McConnell Replacement Theory Express.  However, he's incredibly mistaken.  If and when McConnell turtles out, trust me, it'll be "Thune the Goon" in the driver's seat.

 

Meet John Cornyn
sonofsaf

We’re not a fan
Of MAGA dicks and blowin’
All of their cocks aren’t very long

Stand up and sing
And sing about the blunder
Forty-five’s never been that strong

Coup, d’état plan
Ain’t no doubt, suckin’ me, fuckin’ you

Meet John Cornyn (piece of shit)
Has a lack of morning wood
He’ll be defined
Lacks a hard-on understood
The big lie

Of the far right
Jared he seems so bony
Ivanka Kushner is a Jew

MAGA alert
Squirtin’ is warm not colder
She’s gonna squirt with Russians too

Norm, not the norm
Ain’t no doubt, suckin’ me, fuckin’ you

Meet John Cornyn (piece of shit)
Has a lack of morning wood
He’ll be defined
Lacks a hard-on understood
Oh, no, no

Meet John Cornyn (piece of shit)
Has a lack of morning wood
Meet John Cornyn (piece of shit)
Lacks a hard-on understood

Meet John Cornyn (eat shit pitt)
Has a lack of morning wood

 

Sweet Caroline
James Taylor

Where it began
I can't begin to knowin'
But then I know it's growin' strong

Was in the spring
And spring became the summer
Who'd have believed you'd come along

Hands, touchin' hands
Reachin' out, touchin' me, touchin' you

Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good
I've been inclined
To believe they never would
But now I...

...look at the night
And it don't seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two

And when I hurt
Hurtin' runs off my shoulders
How can I hurt when holdin' you?

Warm, touchin' warm
Reachin' out, touchin' me, touchin' you

Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good
I've been inclined
To believe they never would
Oh, no, no

Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good
Sweet Caroline
I believed they never could

Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good

My fourth parody of Sweet Caroline: 

#304.  Sweet Columbine (a tasteless tribute to the 1999 Columbine Massacre)

#1188.  Meet Randy Fine (douchebag Florida politician)

#1698.  Fuck Mike DeWine (Republican Ohio Governor)

#1995.  Meet John Cornyn (Republican Texas Senator)

From 1970 to the present, James Taylor has played the Burgh an amazing 26 times.  Impressive.

James Taylor:

7-9-05, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

The Big Lie 100: (#1152)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

#1942.  Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1943.  Trump Is Gay (Trip Away --- Jane's Addiction)

#1944.  Transgender (Surrender --- Natalie Taylor)

#1945.  Robert Bowers (After Hours --- Boz Scaggs)

#1946.  Transgender (Surrender --- Cheap Trick)

#1947.  Mercenary (Virgin Mary --- Joan Baez)

#1948.  Bacon's Fucking You (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)

#1949.  Donald Ain't White (Feelin' Alright --- Joe Cocker)

#1950.  Trump's A Cunt (Born To Run --- Bruce Springsteen)

#1951.  Orange Prolapse Fart (Call To Your Heart --- Giuffria)

#1952.  Robert Bowers (Kilburn Towers --- Bee Gees)

#1953.  Is An Asshole (Antisocial --- Anthrax)

#1954.  Walt Nauta (Saltwater --- Julian Lennon)

#1955.  Gay Donald (Hey Stoopid --- Alice Cooper)

#1956.  Luna (Tuna --- Hooverphonic)

#1957.  Sick Bowers (Six Hours --- Alice Cooper)

#1958.  A Border (No Quarter --- Led Zeppelin)

#1959.  Cocaine (The Chain --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1960.  Steven Daines (Country Lanes --- Bee Gees)

#1961.  Greene Is Outta Line (Teenage Frankenstein --- Alice Cooper)

#1962.  Nauta Fucks You (Gotta Jibboo --- Phish)

#1963.  Greene Can't Be Trusted (Mean Mister Mustard --- The Beatles)

#1964.  Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)

#1965.  Sam Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1966.  The Jesse Law Acrimony (The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony --- Phish)

#1967.  I Hate Sam Brown (I Won't Back Down --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1968.  Aileen Cannon (Feast or Famine --- Seether)

#1969.  Tommy (Shit) (Eminem --- Mommy (Skit)

#1970.  I Saw Tommy Fisting Donald Trump (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus --- Twisted Sister)

#1971.  Tommy, Can A Nationalist Be White (Mommy, Can I Go Out And Kill Tonight --- The Misfits)

#1972.  Taylor Greene's Gay (In Between Days --- The Cure)

#1973.  Just Like Kevin (Just Like Heaven --- The Cure)

#1974.  Eli Crane (Crazy Train --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1975.  Crane (Rain --- Rusted Root)

#1976.  Eli Crane (Purple Rain --- Prince)

#1977.  Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Audioslave)

#1978.  Nauta And The Treason (Gotta Have A Reason --- Bon Jovi)

#1979.  His Ass Is Why: A Fist For DeSantis (As Time Goes By: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss --- Willie Nelson & Julio Eglesias)

#1980.  Roy's A Fanatic (Toys In The Attic --- Aerosmith)

#1981.  Two Thousand Mules (Nobody's Fool --- Cinderella)

#1982.  Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Trampled By Turtles)

#1983.  Clown (Down --- Pearl Jam)

#1984.  Taylor Greene (Mean Machine --- Motorhead)

#1985.  Tom Fitton, Big Lie (Once Bitten, Twice Shy --- Great White)

#1986.  Chip Roy's A Fucking Clown (The Toys Go Winding Down --- Primus)

#1987.  Cannon (Famine --- Death Angel)

#1988.  Greene (Jean --- David Hasselhoff)

#1989.  Jim Justice (Street Justice --- Cro-Mags)

 

#1990.  Ayotte (Slipknot --- Grateful Dead)

 

#1991.  Hawley (Polly --- Nirvana)

#1992.  Proud Boys Love Trump The Clown (The Boys Are Back In Town --- Thin Lizzy)

 

#1993.  Cornyn (Outshined --- Soundgarden)

 

#1994.  Mittens Romney (Hot Pastrami --- The Ronettes)

 

#1995.  Meet John Cornyn (Sweet Caroline --- James Taylor)

 

Please do not share this material with Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.