Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Drumroll please! (bankroll too for that matter). Allow me to introduce my yinzer-inspired parody of "Party in the USA." Compliments of the achy breaky offspring from vaginal places... Miley Cyrus. Party in the Burgh, PA.
Let's take a hop across the pond and go with a live version from Glastonbury.
Party in the Burgh, PA
sonofsaf
I I got off the bus at McKees Rocks
With a Beam and Coke in my hand
There’s a toothless man in some distress (whoa)
Port-a-jon to shit in
Back from rehab
Just wrapped up a dime (mark:20)
County’s all white but the blacks are drinkin’ moonshine
Rooney is so lazy
And Bob Nutting is an anus
A joint they’re burnin’
It’s a doobie very blunt thick
Such a treasure of cannabis
‘Cause Double M Mark Madden’s on the radio
Butt a Steelers game’s not on
Butt a Steelers game’s not on
Butt a Steelers game’s not on
So the South Side’s fucked up
That vaping is wrong
LGBT disarray
A hooker gives head fuck yeah
Bum takes a shit fuck yeah
South Side is fucked up
That vaping is wrong
Tattoos and piercings here to stay
Yeah, it's a party in the Burgh, PA
Yeah, it's a party in the Burgh, PA
Primanti’s love sandwich not a sub
A cheesesteak is the number two cow
Back alley dick is getting licked
Them hookers they are all around
Retards of the world all around me
It’s a yinzer steel city Pixburgh party
'Cause there is no more Peduto
I guess we’ll grab a drink at Soho
A joint they’re burnin’
It’s a doobie very blunt thick
Such a treasure of cannabis
That's why Mark Madden’s pissed and he’s a goon
Butt he still wears a thong
Butt he still wears a thong
Butt he still wears a thong
So the South Side’s fucked up
That vaping is wrong
LGBT disarray
A hooker gives head fuck yeah
Bum takes a shit fuck yeah
South Side is fucked up
That vaping is wrong
Tattoos and piercings here to stay
Yeah, it's a party in the Burgh, PA
Yeah, it's a party in the Burgh, PA
Steelers droppin’ balls tonight (balls tonight)
And can’t run the ball alright (ball alright)
All the cops committing crimes (commit crimes)
Mark Madden wears a thong and he’s outta site (yeah)
So the South Side’s fucked up
That vaping is wrong
LGBT disarray
A hooker gives head fuck yeah
Bum takes a shit fuck yeah
South Side is fucked up
That vaping is wrong
Tattoos and piercings here to stay
Yeah, it's a party in the Burgh, PA
Yeah, it's a party in the Burgh, PA
So the South Side’s fucked up
That vaping is wrong
LGBT disarray
A hooker gives head fuck yeah
Bum takes a shit fuck yeah
South Side is fucked up
That vaping is wrong
Tattoos and piercings here to stay
Yeah, it's a party in the Burgh, PA
Yeah, it's a party in the Burgh, PA
Party In The USA
Miley Cyrus
I hopped off the plane at L.A.X.
With a dream and my cardigan
Welcome to the land of fame excess (whoa)
Am I gonna fit in?
Jumped in the cab
Here I am for the first time
Look to my right and I see the Hollywood sign
This is all so crazy
Everybody seems so famous
My tummy's turnin'
And I'm feelin' kinda home sick
Too much pressure and I'm nervous
That's when the taxi man turned on the radio
And a Jay-Z song was on
And a Jay-Z song was on
And a Jay-Z song was on
So I put my hands up
They're playing my song
The butterflies fly away
I'm noddin' my head like yeah
Movin' my hips like yeah
I got my hands up
They're playin' my song
I know I'm gonna be OK
Yeah, it's a party in the USA
Yeah, it's a party in the USA
Get to the club in my taxi cab
Everybody's looking at me now
Like, "Who's that chick that's rockin' kicks?
She gotta be from out of town"
So hard with my girls not around me
It's definitely not a Nashville party
'Cause all I see are stilettos
I guess I never got the memo
My tummy's turnin'
And I'm feelin' kinda home sick
Too much pressure and I'm nervous
That's when the DJ dropped my favorite tune
And a Britney song was on
And a Britney song was on
And a Britney song was on
So I put my hands up
They're playing my song,
The butterflies fly away
I'm noddin' my head like yeah
Movin' my hips like yeah
I got my hands up
They're playin' my song
I know I'm gonna be OK
Yeah, it's a party in the USA
Yeah, it's a party in the USA
Feel like hoppin' on a flight (on a flight)
Back to my hometown tonight (town tonight)
Something stops me every time (every time)
The DJ plays my song and I feel alright (yeah)
So I put my hands up
They're playing my song
The butterflies fly away
I'm noddin' my head like yeah
Movin' my hips like yeah
I got my hands up
They're playin' my song
I know I'm gonna be OK
Yeah, it's a party in the USA
Yeah, it's a party in the USA
So I put my hands up
They're playing my song
The butterflies fly away
I'm noddin' my head like yeah
Movin' my hips like yeah
I got my hands up
They're playin' my song
I know I'm gonna be OK
Yeah, it's a party in the USA
Yeah, it's a party in the USA
The first time I heard this song? They were blaring it over the speakers as we were about to board the new "Sky Rocket" roller coaster at Kennywood. I honestly thought to myself... Damn, this is a hit! 875, 318, 291 youtube hits later, it's still a hit.
Hey, there's one constant to the music business. A hit is a hit.
My parody will likely not be a hit.
Miley Cyrus has been to the Burgh twice. Once at Mellon Arena in 2008. And a second time at PPG in 2014. At the time, I was utterly oblivious of her appearances and did not attend.
Had I known? Would I have gone? Uh, no.
Please do not share this material with Miley Cyrus and/or people who reside in the city of Pittsburgh.
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