#1323. Noem's An Ass

Assuming Donald Trump runs in 2024, which I think is a safe bet, I have a weird hunch that he'll pick Governor Kristi Noem (R-SD) for his running mate.  

Why Noem?  Because she gave him a mini-Mount Rushmore replica with his face on it.  The Mt. Trumpmore statue has never been seen by the general public.  Probably because it's so conceptually offensive and absurd.  But it kinda makes you wonder.  I'm guessing she just added Trump's head on the end.  But honestly, who knows?  Maybe she eliminated the 4 heads of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Roosevelt... and it's just the Orange Prolapse.

Yesterday, America proudly celebrated it's independence with a Trump-inspired mass shooting at a 4th of July parade in Highland Park, IL.  Gotta love that 2nd Amendment.  Or as Trump would say, "We love our wonderful 2A."

Noem’s An Ass
sonofsaf

I know that Donald Trump’s gay
Daughter’s a lesbian
A South Dakota cunt ain’t fun
Jew Jared thinks he’s so strong
Melania’s a whore
Trump is back to settle the score

Well his mushroom fungi cock’s in Stormy’s ass
Pills for abortion will not last
Could it be Governor Kristi Noem’s an ass?
Noem’s an ass

Kristi the cunt of Rushmore
Her pussy’s not the norm
She’s just a mom in uniform
Give us an insurrection
Coup d’état is the end
Democracy wasn’t a friend

Well his mushroom fungi cock’s in Stormy’s ass
Pills for abortion will not last
Could it be Governor Kristi Noem’s an ass?
Noem’s an ass

 

Home At Last
Steely Dan

I know this super highway
This bright familiar sun
I guess that I'm the lucky one
Who wrote that tired sea song
Set on this peaceful shore
You think you've heard this one before

Well the danger on the rocks is surely past
Still I remain tied to the mast
Could it be that I have found my home at last
Home at last

She serves the smooth retsina
She keeps me safe and warm
It's just the calm before the storm
Call in my reservation
So long hey thanks my friend
I guess I'll try my luck again

Well the danger on the rocks is surely past
Still I remain tied to the mast
Could it be that I have found my home at last
Home at last

Since 1974, Steely Dan has played the Burgh a grand total of 9 times.  So I've seen 'em 5 out of 9.  Not too shabby.  That's a 55.5% Steely Dan attendance record. 

Steely Dan:

7-2-00, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

8-30-06, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA 

7-7-16, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

10-8-18, Heinz Hall, Pittsburgh, PA

11-22-21, Benedum Center, Pittsburgh, PA

Feel free to share any of my Kristi Noem parodies at Midwest karaoke bars, random Sturgis revelry, and/or stampedes.

Gnome Top 10: (#16)

#1.  Noem Sweet Noem (Motley Crue --- Home Sweet Home)

#242.  Cumming Noem (Scorpions --- Coming Home)

#249.  Sweet Noem South Dakota (Lynyrd Skynyrd --- Sweet Home Alabama)

#301.  Welcome Noem Planetarium (Metallica --- Welcome Home Sanitarium)

#302.  Who Says You Can't Blow Noem (Bon Jovi --- Who Says You Can't Go Home)

#303.  Noem (Daughtry --- Home)

#497.  Can't Stand Kristi Noem (Blind Faith --- Can't Find My Way Home)

#515.  Fuck The Leech  (Jane's Addiction --- Up The Beach)

#535.  Welcome Noem (King Diamond --- Welcome Home)

#536.  Noem (Phish --- Foam)

#703.  Noem (Unknown --- universal meditation mantra)

#704.  Asshole Noem (Astrodome --- Houston ex-mayor, Roy Hofheinz)

#721.  I Haunt Kristi Noem (Me Want Honeycomb --- Post Mills marketing dept.)

#1009.  Noem (Home --- Foo Fighters)

#1319.  Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home, Country Roads --- John Denver)

#1323.  Noem's An Ass (Home At Last --- Steely Dan)

The Big Lie 100: (#499) 

#1301.  Wittman (Roxanne --- The Police)

#1302.  Doctor Oz Is Gay (Watch The Children Pray --- Metal Church)

#1303.  Abortion (Black Hole Sun --- Soundgarden)

#1304.  Abortion (Distortion --- Overkill)

#1305.  Alito's World (Torpedo Girl --- Kiss)

#1306.  Trump's My Enemy (Flesh For Fantasy --- Billy Idol)

#1307.  Kushner Is A Jew (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)

#1308.  Wittman (Hitman --- Metal Church)

#1309.  Red Alito (Red Mosquito --- Pearl Jam)

#1310.  The Farts Of Thomas Cole (The Heart Of Rock and Roll --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#1311.  Even Joe Gruters (Even The Losers --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1312.  Joe Gruters Screw (Computer Blue --- Prince)

#1313.  Meadows (Meadows --- Joe Walsh)

#1314.  McCarthy's Got No Soul (You Can't Stop Rock'n'Roll --- Twisted Sister)

#1315.  Thomas Cole (Heart & Soul --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#1316.  Mark Meadows (Domino --- Van Morrison)

#1317.  Thomas Cole Has No Regrets (Rock'n'Roll Never Forgets --- Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band)

#1318.  Meadows Really Blows (Steady As She Goes --- The Raconteurs)

#1319.  Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home, Country Roads --- John Denver)

#1320.  Kristina Blackout (The Sun Will Come Out --- Annie)

#1321.  The Trumpers (The Numbers --- Radiohead)

#1322.  Hern's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#1323.  Noem's An Ass (Home At Last --- Steely Dan)

Please do not share this material with Governor Kristi Noem (R-SD) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.