Saturday, July 23, 2022

#1361. Tim Walberg

A few days ago, the Orange Prolapse endorsed an incumbent Congressman from Michigan's 7th district.   

And that Republicunt is Tim Walberg.

Donald, Melania, Susan and Timmy!

Congressman Tim Walberg is a tireless advocate for the wonderful people of Michigan!

Tim is fighting to Secure the Border, Hold Big Tech Accountable, and Restore American Energy Independence.  He is working hard to Deliver Education Solutions for our Children, Support our Military and Veterans, Defend the under siege Second Amendment, and Stop the Trafficking of Opioids into our Communities. Tim is a strong Crime Fighter who adores our Police.

Tim Walberg puts “America First” and has my Complete and Total Endorsement for Michigan’s 5th Congressional District!

Forgive my bluntness....


But Tim Walberg (R-MI) isn't even fit to hold Timmy's jock.  Let alone serve in the U.S. House of Representatives.  Walberg's biggest claim to fame was repeatedly trying to impeach Obama over the birtherism nonsense.  

Speaking of birth, I'd like to see a "71 year old retroactive abortion" take place.  Preferably with a coat hanger.

 


 

Tim Walberg
sonofsaf

He’s a Gingrich Newt who loves to cheat
Just like Donald J. Trump won’t admit defeat
Michigan whore, his name’s Tim Walberg
Fake electors that slate’s outta line

He’s a queer suckin’ weenies
Orange Prolapse clown upon Donald he’ll dine
Fucked Stormy Daniels Trump’s a mushroom whore
And morbidly obese part of McDonald’s lore

His name’s… his name’s Tim Walberg; he’s lookin’, for a thrill
He’s the job of a rim, a fuckin’ dumbshit I wanna kill
Oh, oh, oh, ooh, ooh, ooh Tim Walberg, Tim Walberg

A dick to dismember just because I’m bored
Tiniest meat disgrace there’s no need for a sword
His name’s Tim Walberg, he’s the face of fake news
Hey, “Time for a self-sacrifice.  Time for his bitch ass to lose.”

Tim Walberg, Tim Walberg, Tim Walberg, Tim Walberg
Tim Walberg, Tim Walberg, Tim Walberg, Tim Walberg

 

Jitterbug
Charlie Daniels Band

He wears a zoot suit with a reet pleat
Drives a '36 Cord with a rumble seat
Now he's a Lord, he's a jitterbug
Scare the letters off a highway sign

He drinks beer and eats beanies
Chases it down with ol' Thunderbird wine
Carries brass knuckles and a .44
Runs a loan shark business and a Mary Jane store

He's a... he's a jitterbug; keeps movin', don't sit still
If the law don't get him, some gun-totin' irate husband will
Oh, oh, oh, ooh, ooh, ooh jitterbug, jitterbug

One day in September he stepped out of his Cord
Into the street to face a bullet spittin' Ford
Now he's jitterbug, just a name in the news
Said, "He finally paid the price. He finally paid his dues."

jitterbug, jitterbug, jitterbug, jitterbug
jitterbug, jitterbug, jitterbug, jitterbug



Gotta love the one-handed keyboard/piano player.  A step-up from Def Leppard's one-armed drummer I suppose.  Truth be told, this parody is pretty weak.  Admittedly a bit of a stretch.  I just couldn't find anything that rhymes with Tim Walberg.

From 1967 to 2019, Charlie Daniels has played the Burgh a grand total of 17 times.  Favorite song?  Legend of Wooley Swamp

 

Charlie Daniels Band:

7-20-07, Jamboree In The Hills, Morristown, OH

5-31-19, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA


The Big Lie 100: (#537)

#1301.  Wittman (Roxanne --- The Police)

#1302.  Doctor Oz Is Gay (Watch The Children Pray --- Metal Church)

#1303.  Abortion (Black Hole Sun --- Soundgarden)

#1304.  Abortion (Distortion --- Overkill)

#1305.  Alito's World (Torpedo Girl --- Kiss)

#1306.  Trump's My Enemy (Flesh For Fantasy --- Billy Idol)

#1307.  Kushner Is A Jew (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)

#1308.  Wittman (Hitman --- Metal Church)

#1309.  Red Alito (Red Mosquito --- Pearl Jam)

#1310.  The Farts Of Thomas Cole (The Heart Of Rock and Roll --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#1311.  Even Joe Gruters (Even The Losers --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1312.  Joe Gruters Screw (Computer Blue --- Prince)

#1313.  Meadows (Meadows --- Joe Walsh)

#1314.  McCarthy's Got No Soul (You Can't Stop Rock'n'Roll --- Twisted Sister)

#1315.  Thomas Cole (Heart & Soul --- Huey Lewis & The News)

#1316.  Mark Meadows (Domino --- Van Morrison)

#1317.  Thomas Cole Has No Regrets (Rock'n'Roll Never Forgets --- Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band)

#1318.  Meadows Really Blows (Steady As She Goes --- The Raconteurs)

#1319.  Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home, Country Roads --- John Denver)

#1320.  Kristina Blackout (The Sun Will Come Out --- Annie)

#1321.  The Trumpers (The Numbers --- Radiohead)

#1322.  Hern's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#1323.  Noem's An Ass (Home At Last --- Steely Dan)

#1324.  Huckabee (Faithfully --- Journey)

#1325.  Herschel Walker (I'm A Rocker --- Judas Priest)

#1326.  Hern's The Fuck To Blame (Burning Like A Flame --- Dokken)

#1328.  Donald Trump's A Piece Of Shit (I'm A Little Rocket Ship --- Cracker)

#1329.  Kelley Rat (Smelly Cat --- Phoebe Buffay)

#1330.  He's Mark Green (I'm Eighteen --- Alice Cooper)

#1331.  Nunn Is So Gay (One Of These Days --- Pink Floyd)

#1332.  Nunn (One --- Three Dog Night)

#1333.  Donald Trump Is Fucking Gay (Living In The U.S.A. --- Steve Miller)

#1334.  Nunn (One --- Metallica)

#1335.  Cline (Time --- Alan Parsons Project)

#1336.  Hal Rogers, Fat Fuck (Like Father, Like Son --- Exodus)

#1337.  Huckabee (Suddenly --- Bee Gees)

#1338.  Face Mullin (Space Truckin' --- Deep Purple)

#1339.  He's Jim Pillen (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)

#1340.  Steve Bannon (Rhiannon --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1341.  Janae Is A Shamp (Lady Is A Tramp --- Tony Bennett)

#1342.  Scott Perry Will Fuck You (The Very Thought Of You --- Rod Stewart)

#1343.  Scantlebury Suicide (Mandatory Suicide --- Slayer)

#1344.  Yost Is Toast (Coast to Coast --- Scorpions)

#1345.  Masters (Bastard --- Motley Crue)

#1346.  Mark Lamb (Burndt Jamb --- Weezer)

#1347.  Ivanka!  (Ah! Leah! --- Donnie Iris)

#1348.  Herschel's Pain (Purple Rain --- Prince)

#1349.  You God Damn Jew (Suite Madame Blue --- Styx)

#1350.  Lake Will Not Deliver (Take Me To The River --- Grateful Dead)

#1351.  Lake's A Fucking Cunt (Take It On The Run --- REO Speedwagon)

#1352.  Jew (You --- Radiohead)

#1353.  Hair Hair (There There --- Radiohead)

#1354.  Trump Is King Critical Race (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)

#1355.  Russell Fry (High & Dry --- Radiohead)

#1356.  Lindell (That Smell --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#1357.  Scantlebury (Morning Glory --- Oasis)

#1358.  Daniel Cox (Cleveland Rocks --- Presidents Of The United States Of America)

#1359.  Cornyn Has Lied (Thorn In My Pride --- Black Crowes)

#1360.  Blake Will Fuck You (Take Me With U --- Prince) 

#1361.  Tim Walberg (Jitterbug --- Charlie Daniels Band)

 

Please do not share this material with Tim Walberg (R-MI) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

 


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