#2018. Joshua Sills

Turns out that Eagles Offensive linemen Joshua Sills isn't entirely offensive.  

An Ohio jury recently acquitted him of rape and kidnapping charges.

Dedicated to Joshua Sills.  Apparently, Sills now has the skills to pay the bills.

 

Joshua Sills
sonofsaf

Linemen are dumb his Ohio fate
Philadelphia is a smear of pap
Stormy Daniels has a giant rack
Donald J. Trump is her enemy
Just look at all the MAGA fools
Democracy is their enemy
Maybe gay?  Suck a dick and see
All in the name of profit

Joshua Sills, fat hairy ass is free
(Philly Philly, Philly Philly)
Kidnappin’ Joshua Sills
Joshua Sills, trollin’ all the NFC East
(Philly Philly, Philly Philly)
Kidnappin’ Joshua Sills

Eric Trump is a retard
And Melania’s kinda mean
Slovenian ass is sore
Critical race is so obscene
A Big Mac will make you fat n’at
A Big Mac is a special thing
Do not lecture to a fool
Just kiss the anal ring

Joshua Sills, fat hairy ass is free
(Philly Philly, Philly Philly)
Kidnappin’ Joshua Sills
Joshua Sills, trollin’ all the NFC East
(Philly Philly, Philly Philly)
Kidnappin’ Joshua Sills

Fake news shit
Stormy D. romance
Ivanka Kushner is a Jew
That’s why I wrote this song

All alone, Trump’s a fuckin’ ass, hole clown stool
When on the toilet stay away
He’s gonna foment harm and strife
Promote disarray

Joshua Sills, fat hairy ass is free
(Philly Philly, Philly Philly)
Kidnappin’ Joshua Sills
Joshua Sills, trollin’ all the NFC East
(Philly Philly, Philly Philly)
Kidnappin’ Joshua Sills

Joshua Sills
Joshua Sills
Joshua Sills
Joshua Sills, kidnappin’ Joshua Sills

 

Beverly Hills
Weezer

Where I come from isn't all that great
My automobile is a piece of crap
My fashion sense is a little whack
And my friends are just as screwed as me
I didn't go to boarding schools
Preppy girls never looked at me
Why should they? I ain't nobody
Got nothing in my pocket

Beverly Hills, that's where I want to be
(Gimme gimme, gimme gimme)
Livin' in Beverly Hills
Beverly Hills, rollin' like a celebrity
(Gimme gimme, gimme gimme)
Livin' in Beverly Hills

Look at all those movie stars
They're all so beautiful and clean
When the housemaids scrub the floors
They get the spaces in between
I wanna live a life like that
I wanna be just like a king
Take my picture by the pool
Cause I'm the next big thing

Beverly Hills, that's where I want to be
(Gimme gimme, gimme gimme)
Livin' in Beverly Hills
Beverly Hills, rollin' like a celebrity
(Gimme gimme, gimme gimme)
Livin' in Beverly Hills

The truth is
I don't stand a chance
It's something that you're born into
And I just don't belong

No I don't, I'm just a no class, beat down fool
And I will always be that way
I might as well enjoy my life
And watch the stars play

Beverly Hills, that's where I want to be
(Gimme gimme, gimme gimme)
Livin' in Beverly Hills
Beverly Hills, rollin' like a celebrity
(Gimme gimme, gimme gimme)
Livin' in Beverly Hills

Beverly Hills
Beverly Hills
Beverly Hills
Beverly Hills, livin' in Beverly Hills

My second "Trumper/NFL" oriented parody of "Beverly Hills."  A couple years ago, I penned #695.  Buffalo Bills.

Since 1994, Weezer has rocked the Burgh a grand total of 8 times.  

They came to Stage AE last month but we didn't go in.  Caught it on the river. (mark: 6:15)

Weezer:

5-29-11, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

7-3-16, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

7-10-18, KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

The Big Lie 100: (#1174)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

#1942.  Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1943.  Trump Is Gay (Trip Away --- Jane's Addiction)

#1944.  Transgender (Surrender --- Natalie Taylor)

#1945.  Robert Bowers (After Hours --- Boz Scaggs)

#1946.  Transgender (Surrender --- Cheap Trick)

#1947.  Mercenary (Virgin Mary --- Joan Baez)

#1948.  Bacon's Fucking You (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)

#1949.  Donald Ain't White (Feelin' Alright --- Joe Cocker)

#1950.  Trump's A Cunt (Born To Run --- Bruce Springsteen)

#1951.  Orange Prolapse Fart (Call To Your Heart --- Giuffria)

#1952.  Robert Bowers (Kilburn Towers --- Bee Gees)

#1953.  Is An Asshole (Antisocial --- Anthrax)

#1954.  Walt Nauta (Saltwater --- Julian Lennon)

#1955.  Gay Donald (Hey Stoopid --- Alice Cooper)

#1956.  Luna (Tuna --- Hooverphonic)

#1957.  Sick Bowers (Six Hours --- Alice Cooper)

#1958.  A Border (No Quarter --- Led Zeppelin)

#1959.  Cocaine (The Chain --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1960.  Steven Daines (Country Lanes --- Bee Gees)

#1961.  Greene Is Outta Line (Teenage Frankenstein --- Alice Cooper)

#1962.  Nauta Fucks You (Gotta Jibboo --- Phish)

#1963.  Greene Can't Be Trusted (Mean Mister Mustard --- The Beatles)

#1964.  Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)

#1965.  Sam Brown (Breakdown --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1966.  The Jesse Law Acrimony (The Oh Kee Pa Ceremony --- Phish)

#1967.  I Hate Sam Brown (I Won't Back Down --- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)

#1968.  Aileen Cannon (Feast or Famine --- Seether)

#1969.  Tommy (Shit) (Eminem --- Mommy (Skit)

#1970.  I Saw Tommy Fisting Donald Trump (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus --- Twisted Sister)

#1971.  Tommy, Can A Nationalist Be White (Mommy, Can I Go Out And Kill Tonight --- The Misfits)

#1972.  Taylor Greene's Gay (In Between Days --- The Cure)

#1973.  Just Like Kevin (Just Like Heaven --- The Cure)

#1974.  Eli Crane (Crazy Train --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1975.  Crane (Rain --- Rusted Root)

#1976.  Eli Crane (Purple Rain --- Prince)

#1977.  Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Audioslave)

#1978.  Nauta And The Treason (Gotta Have A Reason --- Bon Jovi)

#1979.  His Ass Is Why: A Fist For DeSantis (As Time Goes By: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss --- Willie Nelson & Julio Eglesias)

#1980.  Roy's A Fanatic (Toys In The Attic --- Aerosmith)

#1981.  Two Thousand Mules (Nobody's Fool --- Cinderella)

#1982.  Taylor Greene (Gasoline --- Trampled By Turtles)

#1983.  Clown (Down --- Pearl Jam)

#1984.  Taylor Greene (Mean Machine --- Motorhead)

#1985.  Tom Fitton, Big Lie (Once Bitten, Twice Shy --- Great White)

#1986.  Chip Roy's A Fucking Clown (The Toys Go Winding Down --- Primus)

#1987.  Cannon (Famine --- Death Angel)

#1988.  Greene (Jean --- David Hasselhoff)

#1989.  Jim Justice (Street Justice --- Cro-Mags)

 

#1990.  Ayotte (Slipknot --- Grateful Dead)

 

#1991.  Hawley (Polly --- Nirvana)

#1992.  Proud Boys Love Trump The Clown (The Boys Are Back In Town --- Thin Lizzy)

 

#1993.  Cornyn (Outshined --- Soundgarden)

 

#1994.  Mittens Romney (Hot Pastrami --- The Ronettes)

 

#1995.  Meet John Cornyn (Sweet Caroline --- James Taylor)

 

#1996.  John Cornyn (Red, Red Wine --- Neil Diamond)

 

#1997.  Timothy Shea (Come Out And Play --- The Offspring)

#1998.  Shithead Fred Keller (Rats In The Cellar --- Aerosmith)

 

#1999.  Timothy Shea (Games People Play --- Alan Parsons Project)

 

#2000.  Trump's A Fuckin' Orange Clown (Try That In A Small Town --- Jason Aldean)

 

#2001.  Aldean (Machine --- Black Flag)

 

#2002.  Aldean (Machine --- Violent Femmes)

 

#2003.  Chris Sununu (Out Of The Blue --- Alan Parsons Project)

 

#2004.  Aldean Cunt (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

 

#2005.  Vance Is White And Gay (Dance The Night Away --- Van Halen)

 

#2006.  Huckabee (Suddenly --- Billy Ocean)

 

#2007.  He's Braun (He's Gone --- Grateful Dead)

 

#2008.  Bishop Probes (Bishop's Robes --- Radiohead)

#2009.  Vance, Vance, Vance (Dance, Dance, Dance --- Neil Young)

#2010.  Donald's Arraignment (That's Entertainment --- Aretha Franklin)

 

#2011.  Taylor Greene (Hey Nineteen --- Steely Dan)

 

#2012.  An Asshole No Doubt (The Sun Will Come Out --- Little Orphan Annie)

#2013.  Hillbilly J.D. Vance (Victim of Circumstance --- Santana)

#2014.  Dolan (Stolen --- The Brian Jonestown Massacre)

 

#2015.  Jim Justice (Blind Justice --- Agnostic Front)

 

#2016.  My God's Donald Trump (My God Is The Sun --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

 

#2017.  Robert T. Bigelow (Moving In Stereo --- The Cars)

 

#2018.  Joshua Sills (Beverly Hills --- Weezer)

Please do not share this material with Joshua Sills and/or former President Donald J. Trump.