Senator J.D. Vance is still reeling from the adulterous fallout from "sofa-gate." His wife Usha and their kids must be so proud. Talk about a magic carpet ride!
In all honesty, I wouldn't mind seeing Vance have sex with a Trumpy Bear.
Internet enthusiasts, do you hear what I'm sayin'?
So not only did the Orange Prolapse's VP pick have sex with a couch (likely a velvet sectional), but now they're releasing before and after pics of him wearing eyeliner.
Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse.
Shades of Rudy, eh?
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| Yinzers behold! Spotted on Liberty Avenue with a dusting of patriotic sprinkles. DAHNTAHN! |
Senator Vance
sonofsaf
Oh, an anal attack
Knee deep in flies shitty.”
Inbred, “His asshole crack.”
MAGA, “Senator Vance J.D.!”
Hillbilly fuckin’ elegy
MAGA, “Ooh fuck you
Senator Vance J.D.”
He’s a shithead from the right
A genital, testicle, tiny bite
Big Mac ugly face and his appetite
Oh, it’s the sound of nondisclosure
Sound of nondisclosure
He’s causing harm
Trump’s shitshow leaves you saddened
Ivanka whore’s an inbred
Oh, an anal attack
Knee deep in flies shitty.”
Inbred, “His asshole crack.”
MAGA, “Senator Vance J.D.!”
Hillbilly fuckin’ elegy
MAGA, “Ooh fuck you
Senator Vance J.D.”
A BeBest chest and porno techniques
Ridden hard put away wet, pies of cream
His mushroom dick’s in debt pussy’s never free
She blew to the sound of nondisclosure
Sound of nondisclosure
He’s causing harm
Trump’s shitshow leaves you saddened
Ivanka whore’s an inbred
Oh, an anal attack
Knee deep in flies shitty.”
Inbred, “His asshole crack.”
MAGA, “Senator Vance J.D.!”
Hillbilly fuckin’ elegy
MAGA, “Ooh fuck you
Senator Vance J.D.”
Trump flags unfurled
Creep spreading lies
His penis should be neutered
I hope he dies shithead J.D. Vance
He’s causing harm
Trump’s shitshow leaves you saddened
Ivanka whore’s an inbred
Oh, an anal attack
Knee deep in flies shitty.”
Inbred, “His asshole crack.”
MAGA, “Senator Vance J.D.!”
Hillbilly fuckin’ elegy
MAGA, “Ooh fuck you
Senator Vance J.D.”
Oh, an anal attack
Knee deep in flies shitty.”
Inbred, “His asshole crack.”
MAGA, “Senator Vance J.D.!”
His urine is urinary
MAGA, “Ooh fuck you
Senator Vance J.D.”
Ooh-fuck-you, Senator Vance J.D.
Not-a-Jew, Senator Vance J.D.
Shut Up And Dance
Walk The Moon
"Oh, don't you dare look back
Just keep your eyes on me."
I said, "You're holding back."
She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"
This woman is my destiny.
She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo”
Shut up and dance with me."
We were victims of the night
The chemical, physical, kryptonite
Helpless to the bass and the fading light
Oh, we were bound to get together
Bound to get together
She took my arm
I don't know how it happened
We took the floor and she said
"Oh, don't you dare look back
Just keep your eyes on me."
I said, "You're holding back."
She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"
This woman is my destiny
She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo
Shut up and dance with me."
A backless dress and some beat-up sneaks
My discothèque Juliet, teenage dream
I felt it in my chest as she looked at me
I knew we were bound to be together
Bound to be together
She took my arm
I don't know how it happened
We took the floor and she said
"Oh, don't you dare look back
Just keep your eyes on me."
I said, "You're holding back."
She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"
This woman is my destiny
She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo
Shut up and dance with me."
Oh, come on girl
Deep in her eyes
I think I see the future
I realize this is my last chance
She took my arm
I don't know how it happened
We took the floor and she said
"Oh, don't you dare look back
Just keep your eyes on me."
I said, "You're holding back."
She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"
This woman is my destiny
She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo
Shut up and dance!"
"Don't you dare look back
Just keep your eyes on me."
I said, "You're holding back."
She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"
This woman is my destiny
She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo
Shut up and dance with me."
Ooh-ooh-hoo, shut up and dance with me
Ooh-ooh-hoo, shut up and dance with me
Quirky tempo and lyrics. This parody could admittedly be better. But the song itself is just so annoying. I simply lack the patience.
From 2011 to the present, WALK THE MOON has strolled into the Burgh a grand total of 7 times. Never seen 'em.
#1450. J.D. (Lady --- Little River Band)
#1465. Vance Is A Cunt (Eminence Front --- The Who)
#2005. Vance Is White And Gay (Dance the Night Away --- Van Halen)
#2009. Vance, Vance, Vance (Dance, Dance, Dance --- Neil Young)
#2561. Vance (Chance --- Robert Palmer)
#2562. J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Ella Fitzgerald)
#2566. Vance (Chance --- Big Country)
#2648. Usha Vance (In A Trance --- Malcolm Todd)
#2657. J.D. Vance (Army Ants --- Stone Temple Pilots)
#2658. Vance, Motherfucker, Vance! (Dance, Motherfucker, Dance! --- Violent Femmes)
#2659. J.D. Vance (And We Danced --- The Hooters)